Panzer's Time

Today's work.

2011-01-22T01:54:00.006-06:00


#include <stdio.h>
//#include <float.h>
#include <stdlib.h>

//#define SIZE 1000

int main (int argc, const char * argv[]) {
 
 int *countP, count;
 int a[10000000];
 
 /*
  count = 5;
 countP = &count;
 for (int i = 1; i < 100001; ++i) {
  countP = countP + 1;
  *countP = 4;
  printf("ptr is at: %p\n", countP);
 }
  */
 
 for (int i = 0; i < 10000000; ++i) {
  a[i] = 1;
 }
 
 for (int i = 1; i < 10000000; ++i) {
  if (&a[i - 1] != &a[i] - 1) {
   printf("Break found\nBetween indices %d and %d\n Between addresses %p and %p", i - 1, i, &a[i - 1], &a[1]);
  }
 }
 
 //printf("var is: %d | ptr is: %d", count, *countP);
 
}

This is what's left of today's work. I've been screwing around a little bit with various things, and the last thing I did in my active workspace was to play with implementing my own version of an array. All I really did was write to addresses that I shouldn't have and segfault. Then I wrote an array of like 10 million elements and segfaulted again.

I just bootlegged a Burzum album

2011-01-11T01:21:00.002-06:00

So, there's a chick here that seems to have taken a shine to me. Oh no.

So I go to American Heritage (lame class btw) last week. I come in just before class starts, so empty seats are sparse. The most easily available seat is sort of towards the back and just inside from the end of the row. I grab it. Next to me is some chick with glasses. She's more or less nondescript; nothing too memorable. I pull out my computer and attempt to give seller feedback on Amazon (for a Confederate flag and a Scots dictionary). No wireless. Darn. Nothing notable rest of class.

Next day. I'm walking across some crosswalk somewhere. Whom do I see? None other than glasses chick. Nothing unusual. At a university with a student body 30,000 strong, you never know whom you're going to run into. Thing is, she waves at me. A cutesy wave with wiggling fingers and everything. I note this as bizarre - she doesn't know me. We didn't say a word to each other in class the previous day. She has pretty much no business waving at me.

Fast-forward across a weekend. Monday afternoon, last class of the day (that I'm gonna bother showing up at, anyhow). I get the same seat as I did before. No problems there. I pull out my book and try to read. "Whatcha readin'?" I hear. I look to my right and see... glasses chick. Now I'm worrying a bit. On closer inspection (now warranted), she isn't particularly attractive and seems to be wearing the same clothes as the last two times I saw her. I show her my book's cover and hope the title (Cancer Ward) will convince her I'm a morbid bastard and scare her off. Unfortunately, I'm not that lucky. She persists and asks me if it's good. I answer "excellent."

That's the end of the story so far. I hope that stays the end. Something about this girl bugs me. Not sure what.

There's a lot of weird chicks here and I've had some weird experiences.

Never Before

2010-12-29T04:44:00.003-06:00

I no longer have the severe insomnia that gave this blog utility in the early days, but at least I'm up late. I'm not doing the traditional "mastering new SQL injection techniques and installing operating systems while blasting trance and house music and taking Enemy Territory breaks," but the key bit about being up far past my bedtime is in play here.

I've gotten tired of the kind of writing I've been doing lately. For those who don't know (lol who even reads this anymore) I've been doing a bunch of wiki writing lately. Specifically, I was writing humor articles for a site called Encyclopedia Dramatica. That site is sort of like Wikipedia, except all of the articles are fake and intended to be humorous. I guess I got tired of the hypertexty way of writing I was doing (notice the two links in this paragraph alone? That's unusual for this blog, but super-normal for an article at a place like Encyclopedia Dramatica). I got bored with the humor too. Most of the articles weren't written to a standard I appreciated, and even though I was good at (and enjoyed) rewriting bad articles, I certainly wasn't going to dedicate a ton of time to fixing other people's bad work.

I wanted to reread a series of comments on one of Dema's old posts tonight. After finding it, I realized how long ago we were active on the blogs. It's 2011 in a few days, and we wrote that spiel at the beginning of 2009. That's just short of 2 years. Not a terribly long time, but longer than I thought. I got to thinking about the sort of culture we had back then.

Dema's mention of "blog wars" reminded me of the good things that happened then. In most of my reminiscences of that time I feel only negative feelings about the stupid things I thought, said and did. Dema's words helped me remember that good things did happen.

I'm going to try to write things here over the next few months. I need to write. It's my hobby and an important release. I won't have a chance to write decent English-language work for any classes next semester - most of it will be bullshit for American Heritage. This blog will serve as the replacement for all the writing I've done for skool for the last several years and for the writing I've been doing at Encyclopedia Dramatica since about May.

I need more than a chance to write. I need a good culture. The crews I've been hanging with lately haven't been too good. The Encyclopedia Dramatica group started off pretty good, but some key members turned into major jerks and a bunch of new assholes showed up to fill in empty slots. The Gay Niggers Association of America, the other online community I hang out with, is still pretty nice, but I need to spend more time "IRL" than I have been. I have new hockey skates and a new guitar. I have an old guitar, a bass, and a banjo. I have thousands of dollars worth of photographic equipment. I have paints, pens and paper. I have books by the ton, including one I bound myself today. All of this is squandered if I spend all night in some chatroom gossiping.

Here's to 2011. May I write in peace. May I write, period. May I find more time to go outside. May I write a decent song. May I paint a decent picture. May I not rewatch every single episode of Law and Order and BONES, again. May I maybe get a damned girlfriend (about time, isn't it). I've got everything going for me: new roommate, new apartment mates, new season, new haircut.

Tomorrow I'm going to bind another book, get my TB test results, and maybe write a bit. I'm going to do some laundry.

On the Radio: "Never Before," by Deep Purple.

Is it performance?

2010-07-22T13:54:00.004-05:00

The No. 1 easiest way to piss me off on the internet is to ask me to watch a video. I'm on IRC chattin' away or something like that and all of a sudden, I see a YouTube URL with that stupid watch?v=y892fweoiufvhyr398afwoijhyw9 thing after it. What is y892fweoiufvhyr398afwoijhyw9 supposed to mean? Is this a link to your local news station's report about a lost duckling? Is it a Fates Warning music video? Is it a Hannah Montana lookalike? Is it some gas-pedal-fetish video that, in the time it took for you to find "Copy" and "Paste" in the Edit menu, has already been deleted by YouTube's porn police?

Sure, I'll watch a Fates Warning video, but only because I like Fates Warning. But eleven times out of ten, you aren't sending me a Fates Warning video. It's something that has some halfway funny joke buried 6:42 into a 9:33 video. And I can't just skip to 6:42, I've got to watch the whole darn thing because the joke relies on context. If you have something to tell me, tell me yourself. Don't link me to a dumb video I don't have the attention span for.

Who's that lady?

2010-04-15T22:12:00.003-05:00

I'm trying to learn Korean. I wonder how long I'll be able to keep it up. It's been surprisingly easy so far.

Here I am, about to take the relatively insignificant step of graduating high school. I can't say I've not had fun, but I can say the best fun I've had is sticking it to the man. How else would I have fun?

I wonder how it'll be at college. I wonder how hard I'll have to work to stick it to the man there. I wonder if they'll kick me out for something stupid like drinking tea (rebellious!) or if I'll just end up as a pariah. I told my mom tonight "I'll be the smartest dude at college" as I was making some tea. She told me I was a moron, so I said "I'll be the coolest dude at college." Cool or not, I'll try to at least be the baddest dude: I'm going to grow a mustache. Problem is I can't grow a good mustache. Good sideburns, good beard, lousy mustache.

My writing skills have languished over the last year. I imagine it's because I've been doing less writing for pleasure and what writing I have been doing has mostly been poetry.

There's a really cool type of French poetry that works like this: there's a pair of lines that sound exactly the same when read aloud, but when read from the page are totally different. A poem is made out of these pairs, where every dang syllable rhymes. The meaning isn't as important because it's plain old fun to read poems like these.

Every once in a while, there's one of those gems of the human population...

I'll finish that one later. Maybe in poetic form.

I love my iPhone.

2010-01-29T22:59:00.004-06:00

I finished a really good book today. It's called Assault Rifle, and it's written by Maxim Popenker and Anthony G. Williams. I had never heard of Williams before, but I'm a huge fan of Popenker's work, and it was nice to see it in print as opposed to on a monitor (he's the author of an amazing website about guns). The book was split into two major sections and an appendix. The first was way heady. The first half of that section was about ammunition, so it had globs of data smeared across the text. No figurative language here, baby. Just lots of sectional densities and metric dimensions. There were tables that made even my head spin. Ammunition is a lot more complex than most people think it is. The second half of the first section was a chronology of the development of the assault rifle. It was much easier reading, and much shorter. The second major section was just a listing, by country of origin, of the world's assault rifles and their important facts. Thinks like rate of fire, dimensions, chambering, and muzzle velocity at standard loading. That section took forever to read, but it wasn't hard.

All in all, the book was informative and I found it entertaining. Having finished it, I must now move on to finishing the assigned portion of Crime and Punishment, Algorithms in a Nutshell (which is even more challenging but also really good), and I have to start both the Unix book I bought and the derivative securities book I borrowed from my dad. Ever present on my nightstand are Rise and Fall of the Third Reich, which I'll probably never finish, and all of those Agatha Christies a friend gave me a while back. I had intended to read one of those today, and if it hadn't been for Assault Rifle, I probably could have.

Let's see what the future holds and greet it with the best intentions in mind.

Index cards are useful for this

2009-12-27T15:52:00.004-06:00

People may not have forgotten about this, but they've certainly quit caring. Heck, I almost quit caring myself. It would not have been a huge loss if I had. It would have just been a regular loss. The same kind of loss as occurs every day when people forget to shave and alienate folks on the streets. The kind of loss that is easy to ignore, and if you try hard enough, to forget.

A few weeks ago - it feels so long ago now, vacations do that to you - I was sitting with a few of my friends who are girls. I won't call them girl friends, because those are dangerous words. The sequence of the words here is very important. At any rate, we were just talking while waiting for a party of sorts to start. We were talking about the people we know and our interactions with them, and we were verging on bitterness. As an experiment of sorts, I don't know what sort, I ventured "You know, I was going to ask out X the other day, but when I got up the morning after I decided to do it I realized that I could never make the logistics work." We bantered the idea back and forth a bit on the subject, and I ended up getting heaped with abuse that I should have seen coming.

The detail of this episode that I desire to scrutinize is the difference in my opinion between the night I decided to ask X (I'd probably tell you her name if you ask nicely) out and the morning I decided against it. I stand by the morning position now because it's the more reasonable one. There's no way my plans of the evening were going to happen. They were just plain logistically unfeasible. It seems to happen so often though, our rescinding night's plans in favor of morning's realities. It appears to me that this phenomenon is part of the never-ending battle between man's possibilities and his abilities. Is it that I dream too big at night, or am I actually afraid in the morning? Is it possible to dream too big? What would I be afraid of?

Time to paint.

Right side of my mind

2009-11-01T20:04:00.003-06:00

So this last weekend I bought a PlayStation and the Greatest Hits edition of Metal Gear Solid on eBay. I figure I got a pretty good deal, especially for the game. I got the same price for both items, $11.50. The game was in more-than-mint condition, though. There weren't even any fingerprints on the inside of the case. I don't think it had ever been opened. Not in 11 years. It was as if I had just got back from picking it up at RadioShack (they did sell PlayStation games in the late 90's, right?).

I kinda wish I had a girlfriend. It's hard to imagine why I don't when I'm so good at saving money and other 1337 skillz. However, it's also important to consider that I'm kinda terrible at commitment. Also, I don't think I'd want to spend as much money as having a girlfriend seems to take. Or the, um, not sure what to call it, but the following vignette might illustrate: One time, one of my friends who is a girl mentioned to me that she was cramping cos it was "her time of the month." Do you think I'd want to know that every month? No! Of course not! But that would be the kind of thing I'd have to hear, or so it would seem. Argh! Choices!

Well, it's off to bed cos of this sham called "DST." I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Or maybe not. Nobody reads this anymore.

Oh, and "in the air of freedom the flame grows bright." Just a line from a song.

I shot a man in Reno.

2009-10-25T20:31:00.005-05:00

So, last night, I went on a date. I got some tickets to see the Chinese acrobats perform at the performing arts center my parents are "patrons" of. And they were good tickets, too - front and center. We had an awesome view of all the stunts, and one of the clowns offered my date a glass of raw eggs as a joke. Easily, the most terrifying stunt they did was balance a chair on top of four champagne bottles on a table. A girl climbed up, and they started handing her chairs and she used them to build a tower! Finally, after seven chairs, she was at the top and could almost touch the ceiling. She started doing handstands and stuff on top of the chairs. It was certainly death-defying. At the end of the show, one of the acrobats came and shook my hand and gave my date a flower. After that we got in my truck and headed home.

It was way cool.

Single flavor

2009-08-22T11:21:00.005-05:00

Do crisp and smooth go together? The reason I ask is that those are two words I'd use to describe my new keyboard. It's a nice keyboard, if I'm qualified to say so, and I daresay I am qualified.

Back in spring, my laptop's keyboard started going on the fritz. Occasionally certain keys (notably E) wouldn't work. I would lock my computer and wait an hour or so until it started working again. Eventually, the entire top row just quit on me. I decided that it would make sense to remove some keys and get all the crumbs and paint and hair out. Which was good, until the little plastic levers under the keys started breaking. Unfortunately, superglue was somehow incapable of forming a bond between the broken pieces, which were practically microscopic anyhow. So I was stuck with a keyboard with no E, Caps Lock, or Backspace keys and a nonfunctional top row. After some thought, I removed the keyboard and cleaned the cable contacts with an eraser. After reassembly, the top row worked again, given I touched the conductive spot under where E should be. I was able to work like that for a while, and the Tab and D keys joined the others in an old Chinese takeout bowl. Eventually, though, 3, E, D, and C quit working altogether. I needed workarounds.

For slow applications, I was able to use the On-Screen Keyboard dealio that's built in to the Language Tools or whatever on Windows. But for something faster, I needed a full keyboard with no slow mouse movements. I set up a Remote Desktop connection across my LAN and used another PC across the house for all of my writing. But it was a shared PC, so I couldn't use it at will. I managed to find an old iBook, but it couldn't directly remote desktop to my laptop for some reason (I guess cos it was running 10.3.9). A VPN out to the Internet, back to my house, and across the LAN was the way to go. Superefficient. Running Remote Desktop over the new VPN worked like a charm, but I didn't want to do that forever, so I asked for my dad to buy me a new keyboard. Ok, so I did wimp out. Live with it.

It came in the mail yesterday, and I installed it as soon as I got it. And if I had to describe it in one word, I think I'd go with "tasty."

Well congratulations!

2009-05-19T19:00:00.002-05:00

I read this on the Inet just a second ago, and it made me giggle.

The problem with buying a package of cookies is that I'm torn between gobbling them up immediately, and savoring them. If I gobble them up, not only will I be hit with an immense wave of guilt, but they'll also be gone too quickly. If I wait, they run the risk of being stale. This upsets me the most when it's Milano cookies or Oreos, two brand names that almost everybody on the planet likes. Both my Milano cookies and my Oreos are now stale. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't find the tears.

Welcome to Shelf Life.

It was probably cos I thought a guy wrote that column until now.

Also, I'm exempt from Gummint. Somehow.

Promises

2009-04-30T22:36:00.002-05:00

This is an excerpt from my diary. For some reason, I was super proud of it.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009 2247 hrs

One year ago today, I sat in Terminal C of Ronald Reagan National Airport reading The Appeal by John Grisham and eating churros (from Cinnabon, I believe). That was a long Sunday. I spent something like six or seven hours alone in that airport. It holds a lot of meaning for me.

When I think of it, powerful emotions awake that I almost never feel. I don't understand them properly at all. I'm not sure where I'd even begin trying. It was a time when I was independent and free. I value independence and freedom, but I've experienced those things at other times, too. [redacted to protect the innocent; they might know whom they are] The architecture of parts of that airport is stunning, having a strange, ethereal quality that almost seems to convey me across time and space. There's also the mental link I hold between that place and Portable Ops, but it's an oddly transcendental one that shouldn't affect me quite like this.

It's one of the most important places in the world, and it's our first anniversary. Many happy returns, hein?

Toshokan Sensou

2009-04-26T21:22:00.003-05:00

I was glancing around my blog for the first time in a while. I just spend so much more time on the back-end of things. While I was perusing, I happened to see the little tagline that says "What's with all the kissing in the rain, guys?" That goes wayyy back in time to a German chick that I sort of knew. I found a list of "ways to turn your girlfriend on" or something like that on her Facebook page... profile... thing. HerSpace. I reposted it on my blog with a running commentary of why or why not the things listed seemed like good ideas. One of those was "Kissher in the RAIN!!!" (yeah, bad typography, similar to the original). I said something along the lines of "Dude, do what ya want, but kissin' in the dry sounds better to me." That started a huge paranoiac argument and I slapped the rain-kissin' tag on the headliner.

So I started to imagine what kissin' in the rain would be like. Kind of hard cos I've never kissed anybody, but I can try. I can feel like the water on my lover's lips as they brush mine. Same as a regular kiss but wet. Big deal. But I guess it must be romantic or something to go to all the trouble of risking pneumonia just to show a bit of affection.

I saw an albino roach the other day... and my mom bought a copy of The Host (which, I am guessing, is about a necrotic maitre d' who falls madly in love with an unassuming girl-next-door named MJ and almost gets his a... butt kicked by Spider-Man. Still waiting for the second installment to see the thrilling conclusion) and almost put it in the bag with my Navy SEAL picture book but luckily put it in the bag with my brother's WWI history book.

There's an entry in my diary that I'm especially proud of. Not sure why. Just am. I'm considering editing it for content and publishing it here.

Chloroplathts

2009-04-16T19:39:00.005-05:00

I'm going to Michigan this summer. I don't think I've ever actually been to Michigan before, except for a quick stop in the Detroit airport. I think I'll list the states I've been to:

Utah
California
Tennessee
Illinois
Kansas
Iowa
the District of Columbia
Alabama
Texas
Nebraska
Georgia
Wyoming
Nevada
Arizona
New Mexico
Oklahoma
Mississippi
Florida
New York
Minnesota (MSP airport)
Louisiana
Kentucky
Maryland
Virginia
Missouri

That's all I can think of, anyhow.

Oh, and I'm going moose hunting in October. I hope that'll be more productive than all the elk hunting I've done already.

Edit: I just found out that my English grade is a 98 and I'm kind of mad about it.

Sucrets

2009-03-23T20:44:00.003-05:00

Once upon a time there was a dude named Steve Stevens. He was awesome. He was so awesome, that he played guitar for Billy Idol. Most people agree that Billy Idol is one of the awesomest dudes ever. It seems to follow that if someone as awesome as Billy Idol relies on you, you must be pretty awesome too.

I've always described Stevens as a "monster." I mean that in at least two ways. First, he looks like a monster. He's got that whole huge black shaggy hair thing going on and he wears some crazy makeup. Second, he's a monster guitarist. No wonder he was picked to play the "Top Gun Anthem." That's the real theme song of the movie Top Gun. Yeah, "Danger Zone" by Kenny Loggins isn't actually the theme song. They needed something totally hardcore and they needed it to be done awesomewise. So they hired Steve Stevens and some weirdo piano player with a wispy little mustache. The final tune was a mix of anthemic melody and adventurous action-shredding. Perfect for a movie about a guy who tries to... um... Does Maverick fight for justice at all in Top Gun? I know he "finds himself" and joins an elite band of fighters. I guess the dedication it took to do that is the inspiration for the anthem part of the song. The "need for speed" mentioned in the movie, referring to Maverick's maverickness, is well represented by Steve Stevens' solo work halfway through the song.

There's another hero of mine - Simo Häyhä. He's only the most awesome warrior I can think of (who's a real person, anyhow). From what I can tell, he killed over 700 Soviet soldiers in the Russo-Finnish war. And like 540 of that was as a sniper, using no scope. That's pretty amazing. Of course, there are estimates that place his kill record closer to 1,000 total killed, but I'm going to stay conservative for now. He's just an amazing guy.

Now I'm going to maybe play "Top Gun Anthem" again. Or maybe not. I kind of want to watch some anime. Maybe. Who knows?

Itchy knuckles

2009-02-26T22:13:00.002-06:00

Does anybody but me ever use the fullscreen mode in browsers? It's kind of neat, and almost handy when you get used to it. The shortcut is usually F11. Try that the next time you use any sort of kiosk that has a keyboard: hit F11. If you're lucky, it's only like Opera or Internet Explorer in fullscreen mode, displaying a custom webpage. I did it the other day at Carmax. Of course, it was only IE5 displaying the Carmax webpage so that customers could search the Carmax inventory conveniently. I changed some setting or other so that people would have a harder time going places other than that site. Helpful ol' me.

Read the Readings

2009-02-16T20:06:00.006-06:00

This is your first HTML lesson with Dr. RT (Panzer Time!). Since students are not allowed to address professors by their first names, you will refer to me from here on out as Dr. Panzer Time! or as Panzer-Time!-Sensei (or as Panzer-Time!-Sempai, if you are so inclined).

Since nobody anywhere knows how to manually embed an image, and since I'll be embedding images in this lesson, I'll start with embedding an image. It works like this:

In that picture, you see a snippet of HTML. On the end you have the little corner things. That's what tells the browser (Firefox or Safari or Internet Explorer) what parts of a page are code and what parts are plain text. In HTML, everything is done with "tags" that have the little angley corners on them. In most cases, you put the tag with the instruction you want, like "b" for "bold," followed by some text that gets made bold, followed by another tag that has "/b."

The "img" tag, which we just saw, works a little differently. There's only one tag for one image. It closes itself - that's what the slash is for. It has the word "src" followed by an equals sign. That tells the image tag where to look for the actual image. The URL, in quotes, does that. The URL I used for that image was
"http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u158/RT_Jones/1.jpg."

Next we have the "a" tag. The "a" tag is a lot like the "img" tag in that it has an equals sign and a URL. However, the "a" tag usually wraps itself around text and has a separate closing tag. Check it out:

This time, instead of "src," "href" is used. "href" stands for something like Hyper-Reference or something like that. It's only ever used with the "a" tag, but it does the same thing as "src" does in the image tag. Notice that there's a few words in the middle of the two "a" tags. These are what's used for the link - linking is what "a" tags do.

There's more things that can be taught, but that's probably all for now.

Just for fun:

<img src="http://www.pe.com/imagesdaily/2008/06-25/berlin0625_300.jpg" />

goes to:

Titre is a French word

2009-02-06T18:58:00.002-06:00

Today at skool I said that the only reason I even show up anymore is so I can have some place to keep my hat during the day. It sure feels that way. I sleep through most of my classes. I don't bring my backpack home at the end of the day, and the only thing I take in the morning is my hat, my iPod, and the previous day's Wall Street Journal (it comes in the middle of the day when I can't read it). I don't try hard at anything much anymore, mostly because I don't need to. I try hard to be fun and I try hard to draw a picture every once in a while and I try hard to be a good Président. But that's pretty much it.

I like work, you know? That reminds me, I need to upgrade one of my old computers.

Jamaican crack dealers

2009-02-02T17:39:00.002-06:00

Yesterday was like the best Sunday I ever had. It all started about 0700 hrs. See, church starts at 0900 hrs, but I have to be there about 0830 hrs. So I woke up, looked out the window, said "screw it" and went back to sleep. Mom came in and asked if I was going to church. Normally it wouldn't be an option, but I was pretty sick and really didn't need to go to do anything special (I'm not actually all that necessary at church, other than blessing the Sacrament, given my ability to constantly elude Sister Ginn and her choral machinations).

I said "no, not if you aren't going to make me." Keep in mind I was sick; I actually like church. She said that I wasn't allowed to use any computers while she was gone, but said I could read if I wanted. She told me to eat some "breakfast steak."

After they left, I took my tray downstairs and fried a breakfast steak, whatever the heck that really is. Doesn't matter anyway, cos I didn't eat but a little bit of it. I loaded up the tray with that, some grapes, a slice of bread, a glass of water, and the newspaper.

Now, the tray has the little handles and the legs that fold out so I can lay underneath it and eat. It's neat. The reason I got it was actually to use my computer in bed more easily, but it's designed for eatin' and it's good at what it's designed for. And I used it for what it was designed for. I spent like two hours just laying in bed reading the paper and eating with the windows open, which was nice. After that, I read Rise and Fall of the Third Reich for a couple of hours.

I worked on the computer later in the day, writing some neat stuff and doing little junk. Then I worked on another computer later.

I reckon it was the feeling of accomplishment I had yesterday that made it so great. I was able to read a lot of stuff and watch clouds go by all day. It was so nice, and I wasn't breaking any sabbath-day observance because my heart was turned to the Lord all day! Nice.

I'll probably write another post tonight or early tomorrow. I'm just in that kind of mood.

Bleeding-edge

2009-01-10T20:03:00.001-06:00

Look, Windows 7 doesn't even show up properly:

Win7

2009-01-09T17:40:00.004-06:00

I read this blurb just a second ago. I can't say how true it feels sometimes.

That said, the word "enhance" (as Jay uses it) reminded me that the only changes I've made to my blog, other than new posts, since I've started are:

☆ I've changed the tag line from "The life of a lonely hacker" to the much more arcane "What's with all the kissing in the rain, guys?"
☆ I've added a little picture of the NYC skyline as a reminder of 9-11 (see bottom of page)
☆ I finally got W3Counter to work (see bottom of page)
☆ I added a link to www.anti-dmca.org (see sidebar)
☆ I added a link to www.worldwidewardrive.org (see sidebar)
☆ I think I changed my little profile description, but I'm not sure.
☆ I also added a little tiny map of where my visitors are from (see sidebar)

I have not:
☆ Made any major layout changes. Granted, I've juggled a few bits around as I've added those links, but everything's still there and it's still in the same two places.
☆ Changed any colors, much as I've been implored to (red on black seems to bother some people)
☆ Changed the name
☆ Changed the URL
☆ Deleted it
☆ Changed the point

It just so happens that I've offended many people since I began this thing. Sorry, if you deserve it. Some people probably don't, but they'll never see this anyhow. It also so happens that I've totally neglected my comics blog. Sorry. I just forget to put stuff there. I've also got a dA account now, and I put a lot of my artsy stuff there instead.

Windows 7 beta comes out tonight. Who knows? Maybe I'll start a Panzer-themed Windows 7 blog. I wonder what I could name it.

How long have I been at this? Since Sunday, October 14, 2007. That's... about 1.25 years. I think.

I have enemies too

2009-01-05T14:09:00.002-06:00

I AM wearing socks.

I AM eating Lemonheads.

I DO have a full bladder.

I DID NOT eat lunch.

I HAVE things that should be higher priorities.

I HAVE spellcheck in places you don't.

I WILL finish The Once and Future King someday.

I WILL become a famous cartoonist as soon as I get an imagination.

I AM NOT wearing my Chicago Bears sweatshirt, for it is too hot in my house.

I WAS surprised to have enjoyed Speed Racer.

I FOUND a 12-episode anime last night.

I ENJOYED the dream I had between 0630 and 0800 this morning.

I think people have sort of forgotten about this. Like nobody reads it anymore.

Hey, I forgot to eat lunch! I might go do that now and then read some. I'm thinking The Age of Ideology.

I think I'm goin' to file all of these old papers

2009-01-03T12:32:00.008-06:00

I haven't slept in about 30 hours and don't intend to any time soon. I guess it's more impressive if I include the tidbit about having only slept for four hours before I started this crazy train ride.

It all started on New Year's Eve. I was at a dance - like I am on most New Year's Eves - and I was thinking about the first time I ever (willfully) stayed up until midnight. I remembered how hard it was to do and how little real reward I received. Then I started thinkin' 'bout the film Saints and Soldiers, where the dudes have to find a place to hide out while they take their first nap after essentially running nonstop for like three days. I realized how nightly sleep is more of a luxury than a necessity. It's sort of a construct that people have made for themselves. I started telling my friends that staying up 'til New Year's is for weenies (while checking out the chick with the two-tone gray and white hair, which I think is HOT. Think Terri Nunn but shorter hair and gray on top instead of on bottom) and that I was going to stay up as long as I possibly could.

What I meant by that is the sort of thing maniacal behavior scientists do to gerbils to see if they can make rodents go as insane as people go when they lose track of their routines. I meant I was going to go without any sleep whatsoever until I had not only developed severe mental illness but had probably died also. I imagine I can take a fair amount of this sort of abuse - I have hacker roots, for goodness sakes. Spending a week working 22 hour days so that I could master a new SQL injection technique or working feverishly until 0200 hrs installing various "obsolete" versions of Windows in virtual machines and getting all the little doodads like networking to cooperate was a fixture in my life for a long time, and I'm not averse to doing it occasionally now, as long as I get to blast the same trance and house music and take Enemy Territory breaks. To save some time, I 'll say that I meant to test not my own limits, not even the superhuman limits that we occasionally hear 'bout soldiers reaching, but to set entirely new standards by which only purpose-built machines could be judged.

What ACTUALLY transpired on New Year's Eve is not very close to what I ended up planning (or thinking I had planned). Basically, I talked to the two-toned hair chick, who turned out to be friendly and nice but way weird (not that it's a problem), I went home, and I must have fallen asleep on the sofa or somethin' cos this diagram I just drew does NOT indicate that I did what I thought I did. The point is that it was a bust.

Well, the next day was the 50th anniversary of Fidel Castro's enslavement of a nation. I spent part of that night in the tub watching some anime or something. Maybe I just sat and thought. I remember that I spent a lot of time cleaning the bathroom up while the tub was filling. I remember I went in my room about 2230 and started listening to the Cuban propaganda station on the shortwave. I just like to listen to Cuban music occasionally, OK? I remember turning the lights off and cleaning my room in the dark somehow. I did a good job. I remember praying a bunch too. I know that at midnight I shut off the radio and laid down to go to sleep. When I turned over ten minutes later and looked at the clock, it was 0300 hrs somehow. I have no idea how I wasted three solid hours, but I know I did.

My alarm clock rang at 0600 and I dutifully got up, silenced the buzzer, raised the blinds, and read the thermometer taped to my window. For some reason, I'm able to do that in the dark. Pretty useful. I turned around, realized that there was absolutely no reason in the WORLD to be awake, walked back to my bed, and slept until 0700, at which point my dad woke me up so I could go to the DMV and finally get my big-boy license. With the GDL that's so popular among states now, it takes like three years of training to actually be able to drive.

By the afternoon, I had spent most of the day doing more or less useless (but surprisingly productive) computer maintenance tasks and my head was hurting. So somewhere between noon and 1900 hrs I know I took an Excedrin. Kind of a stressful day, though it sure didn't need to be. I know my head was sort of sore before I went shooting, but all of the noise and stuff probably isn't terribly healthy. Around 1700 and 1800 hrs, I got a dinner at Sonic, ate it, went up stairs for a bath, and promptly vomited as my bath water was being drawn. Something about throwing up makes me feel better when I have headaches. Completely illogical, mais ça marche. I finished my bath and watched half the "New Year's Dream" episode of Azumanga Daioh at the same time, put my Chicago Bears pajama pants on and watched Reba for a bit.

After that it's even more muddled. I know I watched some Lucky Star on the big screen, I watched Nacho Libre over a span of seven hours, I played some Guitar Hero (woo bass and singin'), and did some other similar stuff. About 0500 hrs this morning, we finished Nacho Libre and Josh fell asleep after a bit of Pokemon action. I personally turned to Civilization and proceeded to "get in the zone" for a few hours. I guess until about 0800. Then my attention span finally expired and I started cleaning again.

I'm a bundle of energy. Energy that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, let the record show. I've done a lot of chores I shouldn't have and eaten quite a few crackers. I can barely keep my eyes still long enough to read the back of a CD case, but somehow I wrote this post. I guess I'm off to do more useless computer chores.

At least if I suddenly die in front of you between next Tuesday and Friday, you'll have a bit of the backstory.

On da radio: Deep Purple's "Woman From Tokyo"

How can I even type?

I still haven't eaten all my Lemonheads?

2008-12-26T19:37:00.006-06:00

It's been FIVE WHOLE DAYS since I last wrote one of these (these being coherent blocks of text). Kind of sobering to realize that. When I go on these short vacations, I tend to lose all grip on space and time. For heaven's sake, I spent almost all of Thanksgiving Break unsure of where I was. I think I went to bed early every night. This time, it took me a while to gear down to a vacationesque level of alertness. I started sleeping on the couch a week before exams in order to gain a head start of sorts. I guess it kind of worked. I still got a 97 on my English exam and a 95 on my math exam, and I still woke up at 0430 every day until the Saturday after exams (I was done with exams on Wednesday), but by Friday I was ready to spend every day solidly locked in to either electronic entertainment or cleaning duties. It's exhausting work being on vacation.

But since exams have ended, I've celebrated my birthday, my buddy's birthday, and my Savior's birthday. Another friend of mine had major surgery (and apparently survived, which is awesome). I got to watch a buttload of anime. Hey, where's the point in this? Why am I recapping what I did over my holiday? The major surgery's the only part that I haven't done every other Christmas break.

OK, last Christmas I made a list of all the stuff I got. I'll see how that flies this year.

-DS lite, black
-Guitar Hero On Tour (that's the DS version, I wasn't super excited about it)
-Civilization: Revolution (DS)
-Arkanoid DS
-Mechanic Master (DS)
-Medal of Honor Heroes 2 (Wii)
-6000 "copper coated premium BBs" (made in USA)
-Nerf gun
-the new Dilbert book (one of the heaviest books I own)
-guitar stand
-UV filter for my camera (doesn't actually fit any of my lenses)
-various doodads and diddlywhacks

Oh! And the cancer's almost gone from my family. One great-uncle got cured and the other is going to die of pneumonia instead. And why in the heck do I hear a frog or toad or whatever outside? It's December!

Blue Steel

2008-12-21T20:59:00.004-06:00

Point of reference: this is my 100th post. Take some time now to read my archives! It'll be a fun and informative journey through my brain.

It was my birthday yesterday. I got a novelty tie and a gun. The novelty tie is red. It's got a picture of the leg lamp from A Christmas Story on it and a little tiny LED inside it so it lights up. The gun is a Ruger New Model Blackhawk in .357 Magnum with a 6 1/2 inch barrel, blued steel, and checkered rubber grips. It comes with an alternate cylinder so I can shoot 9mm ammo if I want.

I was planning on loads more festivity for my hundredth post, but I realized if I didn't tone down and do something soon I'd never get to the big one-oh-oh.

My revolver: link

Bon Jovi's kissin' on dudes again

2008-12-15T20:19:00.001-06:00

Which Azumanga Daioh Driver Are You?
Hosted By theOtaku.com: Anime

Awesome. Now only if we had the same haircut.

Be thou digital

2008-12-08T18:59:00.003-06:00

I gotta watch myself.

I'm in a dangerous position. The Anime Expo guys just put up their 2009 page a couple weeks ago and I found out a few minutes ago. There's no information on the site right now, but if I'm not careful, I'll find myself refreshing every ten minutes to check on registration prices and sponsors and events and crap like that.

Ya see, a friend and I had planned to go to AX (the colloquial name for Anime Expo) in 2009, but I failed to get the adult go-ahead. Anyway, we had gotten all sorts of packing lists and stuff set up and we were trying to figure out who was going and who was cosplaying as who. I was going to be Liquid Snake!

So it ended up being a waste of time. Just like the SOS Brigade t-shirts. And the "As long as we're better than One Piece..." t-shirts. I guess I'm just lazy. Oh well, so was Rip Van Winkle. And he took a big long nap and missed the most awesome war in his era.

Keeyash!

(Be thou analog)

Say MARK-2, or せーまくつー

2008-12-06T16:51:00.005-06:00

I think I might just be ready to form a band. Problem is all my friends are flakes and we'd never actually get anything done. All I want is a good Creedence Clearwater Revival tribute band. That's all. No, not even that much. Just some buds to jam with. But not buds who think they know everything. It's fine if they actually do know everything, but it's hard to find people like that.

My life kinda sucks right now. I snoozed through a Gummint test and made a C+ cos I defined "republican government" as "where the dudes are sovereign." Normally that'll cut it, but in this instance I should have put "when people vote for dudes to represent them." The big problem is that the same question was asked several times on the same test. So now I have a B+ in a class. Goodbye, straight A record!

I've procrastinated writing my term paper until two nights before it's due and I spent so much time cleaning my room today that I don't think I'll finish writing it by bedtime.

I kinda feel like I've lost all touch with reality over the last two or three years and I'm only now getting it back. This kinda sums it up : button to click on. It's not a fun place to be, but it looks like it's where I am.

Kinda hungry too, but I ate my last cup noodles for lunch.

I've been working a little bit on learning Japanese. So far I've only learned how to read the gojuuon in hiragana, but at least it's easy to sing along with the songs on Heavy Metal L-Gaim now. It's surprising how quickly you can learn something by simply flipping through a stack of flashcards a couple of times.

What should I get for Christmas?

"Nuff Said" redux

2008-11-21T20:53:00.001-06:00

Celebrity voiceovers.

I've found my calling.

Motor of the World's stopped again

2008-11-18T17:13:00.003-06:00

Done with that existential crisis. I don't know why I let my self get like that sometimes, but I sure as heck do, as irrational as it may be.

However, there are pretty big crises going on elsewhere. You know, the resurgence of Communism, the regular warlording in Africa, gay people who complain too much when they don't get their way, Russia's rape of Eastern Europe, fatherless children, people who play class warfare and want my money, people who just don't get that what is mine is mine, and people who want my guns.

Hey! La plus change, la plus même.

I'm reading again. Right now I'm finishing up Mongoose R.I.P. and The Road Ahead. Next on my list is Atlas Shrugged, and I just finished the amazing Obasan. Ongoing things include Riots, U.S.A., Rise and Fall of the Third Reich, and of course, the Book of Mormon.

But the darned pain in my back and knees better go away. I think the back pain is from sitting with crappy posture and I know the knee pain is from whacking my knees on too many fixed objects.

it may sound strange coming from a dude like me, but I hope Western capitalism fails. I love capitalism, but I hate it for the same reason Marx wasn't actually a big fan of Communism. Prophet, but not lover. See, according to Marxist theory, Communism is an intermediate, temporary step on the way to true socialism. That's what Marx really wanted. I feel that the capitalism we have today is flawed. If we could start over, we could rebuild it without all the stupid mandated sharing that goes on. We'd be a bit more like what Adam Smith (who was a way happier, and more successful, dude than Marx) thought we should be like.

1776!

Oh, and Jefferson was sort of a dork about that whole Revolution! thing. Why can't people just ignore the government? If it was more inefficient, we could. It's all Congress's fault.

President Ronald Reagan's Magic (1984 vintage)

2008-11-13T17:12:00.001-06:00

I dunno, guys. 93 posts and I'm already feeling like quitting. I'm considering getting out of the blogging game. I've got bigger fish to fry.

Story time (only the coffee remains)

2008-11-05T17:31:00.010-06:00

OK, like, I dunno. This is a good story, I guess. I've been considering whether or not I should tell it for a while now.

ONCE UPON A TIME there was a girl named Abigail. She had long, dark hair. She liked to tie it up with a long ribbon that was red, white and blue. There was a boy named RT. He was mischievous. He really liked pranks. He went to skool with Abigail every day. I guess we can say that he was sorta friends with her.

One night, RT went to a church thing that was supposed to be fun but wasn't really. It was supposed to be a mock Olympic Games. The kids who went to the church thing were split into teams and made to run various insipid relays. You know, like carry water around in your hands and fill up a bucket.

RT was amazing, even though his arms hurt like heck cos he had gotten a number of injections earlier that day. Or week. I can't remember which. Néanmoins, RT led his team to victory in some dumb game. Since the activity was supposed to be a mock Olympic Games, the awards were mock Olympic Medals. They were made of a red, white, and blue ribbon with chocolates wrapped in shiny foil attached to them. RT ate his nasty truffle (it was actually pretty nasty) and went home. He dropped the ribbon on the floor and went about his business. He got undressed and brushed his teeth and turned on some Queensrÿche. He sat down at his awesome computer and began to interface with the World Wide Web.

He surfed all the usual sites, like Blogger, Wikipedia, TechRepublic, hack_a_day, and deviantArt. After a few hours of knowledge memorization, he began to tire somewhat.

Being mischievous, and loving pranks very much, he looked at the ribbon on the floor next to his guitar and began to formulate a plan. He thought of Abigail, who was his first "friend" on deviantArt. He thought of her dark hair and the ribbons that she loved to wear in them.

He knew what he would do.

He grabbed his very expensive camera and got to work. He laid the ribbon on the floor and took a picture of it next to the toe of his boot (he was kneeling). He uploaded the picture to deviantArt as a scrap and called it "HOSTAGE."

He sent Abigail a "note:"

"I got one of your hair ribbons and I'm holding it hostage!

Look at my scraps. "

Later, he came back to see if she had left some comments or whatever. In the meantime, he took some other ransom-like pictures with the ribbon and uploaded them. But they're not so important, and they only make this dialogue confusing, so...

Abigail:

"noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what do you want? ill give you (almost) anything!!!!

and where did you find it? ive been looking for it! lol"

RT:

"It's not like I'm burglarizing your house and stealing things from your room with the pastel-painted walls or anything. (I vaguely remember green.)

Honestly, I never thought this far ahead. I forgot to come up with a ransom. I'll try to figure something out soon."

Abigail:

"...wow RT. just wow.

hahahhahha im not too sure i know exactly what to say to that. hahahah

okay. please let me know what i have to do to get that cheer ribbon back. lol . lots of memories there. tehe"

RT:

"I'M STILL THINKING, OK?

btw was I right about the green paint?"

Abigail:

"indeed yu were"

RT:

"Awesome! And I'm still working on what I could possibly want that only you could give me. I'm totally open to suggestions."

Abigail:

"lol. ill give you Melora." (remember that was HER idea)

RT:

"That would make me very happy, but how would she feel?"

Abigail:

"im not really sure..."

RT:

"Yeah, I've got a feeling it wouldn't be a super-good idea."

And that's pretty much where they both forgot about it for a while. But RT still thinks about it sometimes. And Abigail may or may not, but it appears that she never realized that RT didn't actually steal her ribbon.

I dunno. Like I said, it's sort of an interesting story. And seriously, is she ever going to figure out that I don't actually have her ribbon? Considering the way she's talked to me elsewhere, it seems like it's pretty important to her. Sentimental value and all that. I don't really know what to do about it. Tell her? If so, how? And how long should I let this go on? What if somebody really did steal her ribbon at the same time that I claimed to? Cos I really like my ribbon and I'd sort of hate to have to give it to her cos I feel sorry for her or something.

(btw, the title of this post is from a Trout Fishing in America song.)

Toes

2008-10-28T19:47:00.002-05:00

Apparently I'm really popular on the INet. Somehow I ended up searching for myself (my INet aliases, really) on Google and I rank pretty high. So does my blog. It ranks higher than any of my friends's blogs, I think. Google gives it a PageRank of 2? It was higher than that. Anyhow! I was really surprised to see how high I ranked on Image Search too. Last time I checked any of this I was way down at the bottom with obscure search terms like "color pages that are made out for you." These days Swedes can type in Def Leppard lyrics and find my blog in a flash. Cool, huh?

A nickel (spoken with gravity).

2008-10-15T21:38:00.008-05:00

What I wouldn't give to have a copy of Kyrie Eleison so I could sing it in the shower. That would be so boss, dude.

But the point of this is that nobody I've spoken to knows what a severed elk leg looks like and I'll never get around to writing about half the things I say I'm gonna write about.

As far as the severed elk leg goes, I saw it on the ground in Riley's Canyon last week and I took a picture of it. When I tried to tell a large group of people about it today, nobody knew what in tarnation I was talking about. Here's the picture, for illustrative purposes:

Now for handling the lies! It's not like I mean to mislead anyone. I just make lots of promises I can't keep. Examples: My PSAT score; I didn't write about it until ma petite chou said something that jogged my memory. I once promised a tirade against silverware and all foods except raw fish. Never got around to it. I don't think I really need to, but it might be fun someday. Just a few days ago, I told ya'll that I'd write about my rock epiphany. I'd love to tell the world, but I don't think I'm quite ready. I think that sort of goes back to my "I know how to write!" post. I found what I'm supposed to write about. I know how to write about it. I just think I need to hold it in a little longer. Until the time is right or whatever.

Y'know, I've been thinking loads recently about what my future's going to look like. I want to go to CalTech and get an engineering degree, but I seem to be realizing that even though I'm good at engineering and I like building stuff, my heart may just not be in it. I realized I'm probably going to be just like my uncle. He went to BYU, got an engineering degree, and ended up in the film business. [Note - he's working on some film named Gentleman Broncos. I think he's the gaffer for this one.] That's exactly what's going to happen to me. I'm going to get accepted to CalTech, but I'm going to end up going to BYU for some lame reason and graduate with a degree in chemical engineering (or whatever degree teaches you how to write network protocols). Then I'm going to become a mildly successful comedian or artist or something. Imagine that! RT as an artist! It boggles even my brain. Now, I love doing stand-up, but I don't know if I could do that for a living. I don't think my dreams of rockroll stardom will ever come true either. I used to know this dude who was the bassist in this band called Breaking Point. He really sort of hated it because he had to travel so much and do all the shows and be away from his wife and kids and friends. I love travel loads, but I don't like being away from my friends and family and stuff.

Aurora Borealis comes in view!
Aurora comes in view!
And I ran!
I ran so far away!
I ran all night and day!
Gotta get away...

It's sort of fun to write with music in the background. I better stop now, though, because I bet I'll get carried away if I'm not careful.

Ooh, comfortably numb!

2008-10-12T16:12:00.004-05:00

Did anyone realize that Smash Mouth is still around? I just found out that they are, and I'm gonna be major pissed if it turns out somebody knew and didn't tell me.

When I was a little kid, MTV wasn't polluted by crap like Crystal Castles. [Courtship Dating is one of the worst music videos I've ever seen.] It was still what I like to call "cool." I remember sitting on on the floor in my parents's room in late 97 (maybe early 98) and the music video of "Walkin' on the Sun" came on. That song, that video, have been prime forces in my life since then. I'll never forget the image of the band sprawled on the pavement. (And before anyone asks, I remember when "All Star" was cool too.)

I think later I'll write about my rock epiphany.

I approve this message!

2008-10-05T19:32:00.003-05:00

I was able to spend the last hour NOT refreshing Blogger. Amazing, hein? It was accomplished through the power of fine art. You see, I'm a photographer. It's fun. It's my hobby. As I've said before, I take pictures because it's pictures. So what I was doing was looking through my old photos and my Flickr to see if I had any good material lying around for deviantArt. I found some good stuff. I think three things to put on dA and one to put on Flickr. Hey, it doesn't hurt to go look. It takes all of fifteen minutes to look at every single thing I have on dA. I know; I just did it. Just go to the Gallery, go to page two, and... nah. I'll just give you a link. Above the picture there's a little link that says "back" and one that says "forward." Just keep clicking on those and you'll get through all of it pretty quickly.

I love self-promotion!

Spot the split infinitive!

2008-09-29T16:54:00.004-05:00

Chicago.

I had forgotten how much I love Chicago. I didn't realize how much I missed the smells, the sounds, the tastes, and the sights.

Going to the cemetery to pour Pepsi on my great-grandfather's grave and Coke Zero on my great-grandmother's grave probably symbolizes the bond I have with the city pretty well. I've never lived there, but it's where my family came from. I'm the only person with my name to not be born in Chicago. I feel at home there. I'm comfortable on Pulaski and confident Downtown.

Sure there were constructive purposes for going there. I visited Northwestern University. I made up my mind not to apply to Northwetsern University. I saw the Bears beat the Eagles 24-20. I rode in a truck with Wisconsin tags (they gave me peanuts; I was happy). I watched some good TV and got to skip a bit of skool. Those are all reasons enough to go.

But sometimes reason enough, well, is reason too much.

Never gonna shake it...

2008-09-25T17:08:00.004-05:00

I don't know what to say.

I guess this can be called writer's block. It's no fun, if that's what it is. I want to say something, but I don't know what. It's worse than not knowing the answer to a math problem but not so terrifying as night paralysis.

I could bore you with "random" facts. The word "really" does not appear anywhere in the King James Version of the Bible.

I could tell you everything I've bought for myself recently. A Camouflage record, some tapes, and a JVC dual tape deck.

I could tell you all the happy things that have happened to me. I was elected to President of the French Club.

I could tell you all the sad things. Another one of my mother's uncles has terminal cancer.

I could tell you how happy I am that I have the friends I do. Thanks, guys.

I could tell about my favorite comic strips. I really like Dilbert.

Yay tempo, hein?

Panzer Time!

2008-09-17T15:17:00.008-05:00

Yesterday in English our beloved teacher was absent due to illness. We had a substitute on the way, but we still needed entertainment for a while until he arrived. Our teacher from last year came in and we cheered.

Last year, he used a Jeopardy "page-a-day" calendar every morning to wake us up. Naturally, I won for the year. I was so proud of myself that I had trophies made for the top three scorers.

While he was babysitting us yesterday, we held a Jeopardy contest with this year's page-a-day. Naturally, I won, even though I wasn't in top form.

One question went as follows: "This popular 1940 German song was about tanks rolling through North Africa." I didn't know the answer. I guessed "Horst Wessel Lied" for fun, but I was wrong. The song was called "Panzer!"

The girl who sits behind me this year was the second place competitor last year. She started laughing. It cut me to the core. She said something along the lines of: "It's just funny that you don't know that." (If you don't get the joke, look at the frikkin title of my blog.) I mean, I guess it is funny, but still. I felt bad.

I came home from skool early today. I have a bunch of free time tonight, so I decided to look around and find a copy of this "Panzer!" YouTube brought the quickest result, and it is here.

S/PDIF

2008-09-13T15:31:00.004-05:00

I almost forgot about this. Good thing I remembered, or no one would ever be able to see it and laugh with me.

It's a poem some friends and I wrote one day for a homework assignment. It's not really supposed to mean anything.

a troubled friend (Title - Person's Name)
[Redacted] (Your name)

When I watch you
falling down like rain
depressed and disconsolate, surrounded by the despair
of your dismal dwelling
or
when I watch you
in your dreary depths
without a way out
pondering life and death
like a rose, trampled on the ground
I say
when I watch you
you ghost in a shell
who used to smile so bright
I stand up
through your sorrow
I stand up

南运

[Teacher's note: Please share w/ your friend Well written-]

I hope my typography is understandable. I almost feel like e.e. cummings.

Sockies!

2008-09-09T16:58:00.006-05:00

You know, I really like drawing. I like to do little drawings of le petit prince on my homework and little drawings of machine guns on my tests. I like drawing Minoru Shiraishi on napkins and flowcharts on index cards.

It's sort of fun to draw. It's also sort of fun to write. I never actually realized that I do have a reasonable amount of skill as a writer. Well, until today. I realized that I actually can write and be cohesive and all that other important stuff. I always thought that because I never wrote "flowery" stuff like... forget her name, think it's Katie, I wasn't a real writer. I failed miserably at that big writer's competition. But I think it was really all in my head. I have something that I need to tell everybody. Now that I've learned how to tell everyone, I just have to learn how to look inside myself and see what message I have to share that only I can share.

I also like to dust my bookshelf and jumpstart cars. I like to eat fish and drink tea. I like to read biographies of scientists and madmen (is there a difference? Yes.). I like to adjust my blinds so that I can use sunlight instead of artificial light. I like to listen to jazz and heavy metal. I like to wear manly brown leather Wellington boots and felt caps.

Maybe I like poetry.

But not Birches.

Covert Jazz!

2008-08-31T17:13:00.005-05:00

I have a leg holster for my iPod. It's flipping cool. I can hide it inside my pants or under a large coat. If I run the earbud wire under my shirt, I can let the wires come up the back of my neck and keep the buds themselves from being too noticeable.

Chew on that, authority. Do I want to spray-paint something? I think I'll put on some Psychedelic Furs. Do I want to run from the cops? Motteke Sailor Fuku. Rob a bank? Why Can't This Be Love. Case the joint? Research Lab from the Portable Ops soundtrack. Stay awake in class? License to Thrill. Beat up druggies? Hymn of the USSR.

Sounds fun, eh? It's not unlike that commercial I saw for ING bank or whatever. This dude was walking around in the park and there was a dude wearing a tracksuit walking in front of him carrying a boombox playing impressive music (gerunds much?). He was described as a guy with his own themetrack.

What do you think my themetrack should be?

2008-08-28T22:21:00.001-05:00

(hein?)

I flippin' love this tie!

2008-08-24T11:08:00.002-05:00

I was writing a talk for church today on the backs of index cards and, as I am wont to do, I let my mind wander quite a bit while I was doing it. I got to thinking about how I've never run for any sort of electable position at skool. I always blamed it on "I don't want to get involved in weirdo Church of Christ politics (I'm Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, sorta different there)," but I don't think that was entirely honest. I tried figuring out a bit why I never did run. I thought about bizarre confidence problems that seem to come out of the woodwork at times. I mean bizarre. I'd be much more confident as an Olympic gymnast than as an actor in a high-skool production of "Up the Down Staircase." And I've never done any gymnastics before, but I have acted before. Now tell me that isn't bizarre. I mean, how does that make sense? I know I'd make the greatest under-cover soldier guerrilla secret agent ever, but my fear of not being able to properly pull of a Czech accent prevents me from buying a tuxedo and growing a mustache and flying to Spain. I think that's strange too.

So I thought some more, because I knew that it wasn't the confidence that was the issue. I was CONFIDENT that if I ran I would win. I considered lack of caring. That seemed more like it. That's something I'm real good at. Apathy has always been a real cool cannon that I could fire whenever something got in my way. Lame teacher? Blam, I don't care. Bad food? Blam, fish is better, who cares. Hard final exam? Pshaw, I can take an F on this. Caltech isn't gonna look at my seventh-grade Bible grades. (Neither am I, if it means anything.) So apathy was definitely an ingredient.

Now I also told people I NEVER WANT TO BE LIKE AMY HARWELL. Yeah, the one who told me later that her hair was naturally black. (I believe her.) I don't want to be the scapegoat that everyone unfairly blames for all their problems for years afterward. I know, however, that I wouldn't do anything disastrous enough for that to happen. And I certainly wouldn't let the people who control me do that either. Ha ha, Sons of Liberty.

So, guys! I just shot my own excuse full of holes. Should I run next year? Note, however, that if I get a job at the State Department like I'm trying to do, I won't be able to attend the dumb (apathy!) retreat, thusly nullifying my election. But money is no object! I'm rolling in cash! Or actually, my financiers are! So if I should run, then I'll run! And throw everyone's confidence in the toilet!

Salt Marsh: I was serious about the suspenders thing and the chess thing.

Crab battle?

2008-08-17T21:53:00.004-05:00

I was getting ready for church this morning, and while I was putting on my suspenders, I noticed my copy of Rise and Fall of The Third Reich on my nightstand (yeah, yeah, so I'm not done yet), and this sort of began to boil in my brain. Almost like making instant ramen.

For people who are keeping score, I've got to say that there's a Golden Age for pretty much everything. There was a Golden Age of totalitarianism in the 1920's. There was a Golden Age of Free Love in the late sixties. There was a Golden Age of "crap we're gonna die" in the late 14th century. There was a Golden Age of bad fashion which began circa 1985 and is generally thought to have ended circa 2002.

Now, on a more human scale, there are high points (COMMENTERS! DO NOT MENTION THE COFFEE SHOP OF THAT NAME!). Personally, I think my high point of lying about brushing my teeth ended about the time I was seven or eight, maybe nine. I've hit my high point of slacking off and getting loads of crap I didn't earn (well, I hope that's not really the case, but I wouldn't be surprised).

I remember the time I used to spend two hours writing a blog post, and then one gay kid would read it and I'd have to delete his comments. I eventually got two more (semi-)regular readers. I mastered the art of saying enough without saying too much. I learned how to tell a story without divulging my identity or giving gender cues about my subjects (writers: it's a real challenge, but very rewarding; try it sometime).

Then I got W3Counter to work and constantly tracked my readers. How they got there, where they lived, how long they stayed. My posts got shorter, it seemed. Not that that's a problem. I just didn't pour my heart into them anymore. Maybe it's because I started keeping a real diary. Maybe not. It's not worse now, just different.

I'm sort of proud of this!

Dang man!

2008-08-10T16:58:00.002-05:00

Turns out that sometimes my plans do work. I have all these great ideas, like using concrete walls as practice for stabbing people with beer bottles, but they always end up really bad. Like I end up stabbing myself with the beer bottle instead. Or all the times I figured out an awesome prank that I was going to do, but it turned out in the end that I didn't care enough to carry it out.

But sometimes my plans do work, like I just said. Then it's freaking awesome. And sometimes there's a little bonus afterwords. It makes me so happy. It validates my existence, in a way.

Keeyash!

Under the table...

2008-08-05T14:25:00.004-05:00

For your viewing pleasure, I have posted a copy of "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade."

I didn't make it, so I don't know what the copyright status is.

What in the Heck.

2008-08-05T10:39:00.002-05:00

So it is undoubtedly classless, and there lies its strength. A toff can be a bit of a chap as well without, as it were, losing face.

OK. Yes. Is that not the most confusing thing you've ever read? To me it's an example of why British people who refuse to speak English need their own Wikipedia. I mean, there's a "simple English" Wikipedia, so why not an "Andy Capp's" Wikipedia?

My affairs are slightly more ordered now.

2008-07-27T20:20:00.003-05:00

It would seem that my last post is insufficient. Even though I've had like five viewers since I wrote it, nobody's written anything (or stayed longer than thirty seconds). I don't blame them. It was just something I slammed into my keyboard after eating the rest of a bag of M&Ms I had purchase on a plane yesterday morning.

I better explain that a bit better. I flew from Washington D.C. to my metropolis of primary residence yesterday. On the whole, it was an enjoyable experience. I got to spend a few hours in Ronald Reagan National Airport, which is beautiful. Honestly my favorite airport in the world. I had a chance to buy and read The Wall Street Journal, which I missed after being away from home so long. I got to listen to the entire soundtrack of Metal Gear Solid: Portable Ops. It's a beautiful soundtrack, even though the lyrics of Calling to the Night don't make a whole lot of sense. I can forgive it though, seeing as how it was probably written in Japanese. I got to eat a few good donuts. Even though I had a crappy Coach class seat, rather than my preferred First class seat, it was an aisle seat and I sat next to a comparatively attractive woman who didn't bug me or fart or anything. I got to read a little from A History of Modern Computing.

In the end, I like walking around other cities wearing a suit and looking important. Travel is one of my favorite things in the whole world. I know that a whole lot of those TSA witches can be annoying, but when seen as part of the big picture it's not that big of a deal.

Travel is fun.

Hard Candy Shell

2008-07-26T19:44:00.002-05:00

You know how you sometimes get that funny taste in your mouth when you eat M&Ms and you can't quite get all of the little pieces of hard candy shell out of your mouth? They get stuck between your cheek and lower jaw, and they're super-annoying.

Where's my ID?

2008-07-02T14:34:00.004-05:00

I had a dream last night that I was playing onstage with Def Leppard. We were sort of adlibbing and I was playing a doubleneck guitar. It was so cool, especially the twelve-string guitar solo I pulled off at the end. I need to get a band put all the way together, as in give it a name. And maybe get another guitarist and vocalist. And a drummer. Those are pretty hard to find where I live, ya know.

Anyway, this is sort of a waste of bandwidth. But I realized the other day that a TRUE netizen needs not worry about wasting collective bandwidth, especially with a service like Blogger. The true netizen needs to always contribute worthwhile information to the space so that others can use it.

Stop making me pay for your stuff, Yahoo. I can't wait til Microsoft acquires you. Then your stuff will be FREE.

Not very nice of me!

2008-06-29T23:26:00.005-05:00

OK, I'm going to say that it was a little bit cruel of me to throw that last post at you guys. I didn't make that up, it was generated using a computer. That's why I said that it would scare me if anybody claimed to understand it. They'd have to be crazy or a liar.

Just should have given some advanced warning or whatever. You know, like if the Soviets decided to blow us up it would sure be nice if they told us first. That way we could go into a cave well-stocked with crackers and lead paint. I've seriously been in caves stocked with hard tack, by the way. America, home of the brave. We were willing to eat hard tack and salt pork for as long as it would take to beat the godless Communist oppressors.

(I'm actually watching MTV Cribs again, and the guy on now is an idiot. I don't think he can even read. MTV used to be good, dude. Where'd the magic go?)

And yeah, sorry again for giving some serious headaches to you guys. I can't even read that stuff. Luckily I know when to quit.

Did you notice that the paragraphs were more or less identical?

I'm watching MTV Cribs and this is what I typed.

2008-06-21T00:24:00.003-05:00

I can be smart too! Look:

We have already seen that the descriptive power of the base component is unspecified with respect to the traditional practice of grammarians. Note that the earlier discussion of deviance raises serious doubts about a parasitic gap construction. Conversely, this selectionally introduced contextual feature can be defined in such a way as to impose problems of phonemic and morphological analysis. This suggests that the appearance of parasitic gaps in domains relatively inaccessible to ordinary extraction is, apparently, determined by the strong generative capacity of the theory. It may be, then, that a case of semigrammaticalness of a different sort cannot be arbitrary in an abstract underlying order.

Let us continue to suppose that the systematic use of complex symbols appears to correlate rather closely with nondistinctness in the sense of distinctive feature theory. Summarizing, then, we assume that relational information does not affect the structure of a general convention regarding the forms of the grammar. However, this assumption is not correct, since a subset of English sentences interesting on quite independent grounds may remedy and, at the same time, eliminate the ultimate standard that determines the accuracy of any proposed grammar. It must be emphasized, once again, that the descriptive power of the base component is not subject to the requirement that branching is not tolerated within the dominance scope of a complex symbol. It may be, then, that a case of semigrammaticalness of a different sort is unspecified with respect to a parasitic gap construction.

Nevertheless, a case of semigrammaticalness of a different sort is unspecified with respect to nondistinctness in the sense of distinctive feature theory. By combining adjunctions and certain deformations, any associated supporting element suffices to account for an important distinction in language use. Note that a subset of English sentences interesting on quite independent grounds can be defined in such a way as to impose irrelevant intervening contexts in selectional rules. We will bring evidence in favor of the following thesis: the speaker-hearer's linguistic intuition cannot be arbitrary in a stipulation to place the constructions into these various categories. Conversely, the appearance of parasitic gaps in domains relatively inaccessible to ordinary extraction raises serious doubts about the strong generative capacity of the theory.

Bet you didn't know I had an IQ of like 170-180. Seriously, I think I do have an IQ that high. Or really high anyhow. Towards that end of the scale it's less ans less accurate and less and less relevant.

It's been coming.

2008-06-17T22:18:00.006-05:00

Before we start today, I'll say that this is something that's been building up for a long long time. I originally gave this tirade during the leadup to my English final, while the proctor was looking for a place to stack finished exams.

Why do you need to make room on your desk? Why not just move all that stuff to the floor?

The floor is an underutilized architectural element in Western society. What do we need all of this junk for? Are you kidding me? Furniture? What are chairs for? What do we need these desks to be three and a half feet in the air for? I don't need my paper to be waist-high to write it. Make it nine inches high or a foot high and sit me indian-style in front of it. Or I can kneel. That's ok too.

Why do we have these beds way up in the air? Just lay on a flat mattress or something. Couch? Nah, cushions. Set 'em on the floor and put your tush on 'em. If you want to lean, get yourself a big round cushion.

Television? Computer? Floor. Set the keyboard up on your table. You only need one table. Perfectly square, made of wood, parquet is ok, stone inlay is ok. One foot tall. About four or five feet long on each side. If you want, you can put shallow drawers or pockets on the side. Great.

I've been sleeping and sitting on floors my whole life, and it hasn't hurt me none. Try it. You might like it.

Coming next week, my diatribe against silverware! And any foods other than raw fish!

Wish I knew about this earlier.

2008-06-15T20:11:00.000-05:00

We cracked the Gibson!

2008-06-14T18:20:00.004-05:00

I saw what looked like the lamest date ever today. Here's the story.

I went down to the river to go skimboarding today. I was having fun, and some dude who looked like he knew what he was doing showed up. He was skimboarding too. Then I noticed that he had his girlfriend with him. No biggie. What he does is his business, right? Well then I saw that she wasn't skimboarding. But she was moving around all the ramps for him and standing around watching him skimboard in a mediocre manner.

Now what's the deal with this? "Hey toots, lets go watch me skimboard. And then you can move around the ramps." That's so vain and inconsiderate. It's like if I said "Come on, I'm going to hack this server and you're going to watch me sit in front of my flickering VGA monitor and get me a screwdriver or notebook every now and then." How is it supposed to be exciting or fun for her? He wasn't particularly good at skimboarding or good-looking shirtless.

For real, go to a baseball game or something. Spectatorship isn't always bad, but this isn't real spectatorship. If he were a world champion skimboarder or if he were super-muscular, I could see that it might actually be fun for her to watch him and move around his ramps.

It just didn't look all that rewarding for her, like she wasn't really getting anything out of it. It sort of reminds me of that episode of Still Standing where the teenage daughter was dating some jerk, who kept playing basketball with her because he thought if he beat her mercilessly then she'd think he was a hunk, and at the end of the episode he says, "Maybe later you can come to my house and watch me lift weights." Really, I can understand wanting to showcase your talents, but what about some of her talents and stuff?

That sarcastic little...

2008-06-11T17:03:00.002-05:00

Just leave your name.

1. I'll respond with something random about you.
2. I'll tell you which song or movie you remind me of.
3. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
4. I'll tell you my first memory of you.
5. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
6. I'll ask you something I've always wondered about you.

I got this idea from a friend of mine some time ago and I've been considering doing it for a while now. It seems fun. It might be a little hard for me, but I think I can handle a challenge.

I'm happy.

2008-06-06T23:37:00.002-05:00

I finally got my hands on a pair of suspenders. They're sort of a bluish color. I've been wearing them with the same ripped jeans and faded MIT shirt for three days. Well, not really. I wore shorts and a red shirt Thursday.

Bad news though. I ripped my favorite Vans on the couch corner and I forgot to bring chopsticks... I'm not going to be able to eat on this trip. What's wrong with me? How do I forget something that important? That's like a normal person forgetting to bring their glasses or something. That's like me forgetting my glasses. It's like me forgetting my Cubs wristband. It's like a normal person forgetting their foot. It just can't happen. It's not right.

What's this world coming to?

Here we go again.

2008-05-31T09:56:00.003-05:00

Yet another copy/paste. I substituted the original answers with my own. This could be considered a follow-up to the last post, if you want to see it that way.

Note: This is supposed to be humorous.

1. Is that your natural hair color?
Of course!

2. Where was your default pic taken?
Hmmm... depends which one. Probably the desert.

3. What's your middle name?
Not telling you. I don't trust the Internet.

4. Your current relationship status?
None.

5. Honestly, does your crush like you back?
How in the heck would I know? I'm no lie detector.

6. What is your current mood?
Procrastinatory?

7.What color underwear are you wearing?
I'll kick your shins if you ask that again.

8.What is one thing that makes you happy?
Pulling the trigger of a gun, feeling the hammer fall, seeing a neat little hole show up right where I wanted it.

10. If you could go back in time, and change something what would it be?
Not be as big of a jerk.

11. If you MUST be an animal for ONE day- what would you be?
Bird of some sort.

12. Ever had a near death experience?
Of course. They usually involve water.

13. Something you do a lot?
Imagine! Then curse myself for imagining stupid stuff.

14. What's the name of the song stuck in your head right now?
"Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley. Hehe.

15. who did you copy and paste this from?
That identity will not be revealed, for the protection of the innocent.

16. Name someone with the same b-day as you?
Oh, loads. But I'm not telling, because it IS the Internet.

17. When was the last time you cried?
Oh, years and years ago.

18. Have you ever sang in front of a large audience?
Yup! Loved every minute of it, too.

19. If you could have one super power what would it be?
Invisibility would be super handy, but flying might be fun. Or I could do the whole human mercury thing like on Alex Mack.

20. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex?
Hair color... I have terrible vision, it's about all I can really see without looking super close.

21. What do you usually order from Starbucks?
I just stand around all surly-like when I get taken there. Freakin' hippie joint.

22. What’s your biggest secret?
Not telling. What's your problem, man?

23. What's your favorite color?
Well, I have different favorite colors for different things. Like for t-shirt fabric, I prefer charcoal gray. Or charcoal grey. Hoohoo, gettin' fancy.

24. When was the last time you lied?
Oh man, not today. That's for sure.

25. Do you still watch kiddy movies or TV shows?
Occasionally. I tend to only do it if I remember it from my own "kiddyhood."

27. What are you eating or drinking at the moment?
Nuthin'.

28. Do you speak any other language?
The language of love. Just kidding... French is my specialty, but I can do a little Spanish and German as the need arises.

29. What's your favorite smell?
Gasoline... or maybe that old smell that I hardly ever smell. The one from skool.

30. If you could describe life in one word what would it be?
Fun!

31. When was the last time you gave/received a hug?
Yesterday morning.

32. Have you ever been kissed in the rain?
What in the heck is it with kissing in the rain? (Seriously folks, I'm not making this up.) And no. Never kissed in the rain.

33. What are you thinking about right now?
My feet.

34. What should you be doing?
French... maybe a bit of reading. I'm sweaty from mowing the lawn, so I need to take a shower too.

35. What was the last thing that made you upset?
Dunno really. Depends on the exact meaning of the word "is."

36. How often do you pray?
Practically every ten minutes, if that rarely. Seriously.

37. Do you like working in the yard?
Sometimes.

39. Name 5 things in your closet.
Computer equipment, rocket engines, hats, poster collection, stash of old Popular Mechanics.

40. Do you act different around your crush?
People tell me I do, but I can't tell.

Strange what floats around the web these days.

And people, don't go just telling me how my answers are wrong. They are right because these are supposed to be answered how they apply to me, not anyone else.

The Internet said so, Your Honor!

2008-05-30T16:21:00.004-05:00

I found this on the ever-truthful intarwebs. Keep in mind it's a really crappy translation from German (really it's just English from a German who isn't fluent in English):

28 WAYS TO MAKE A GIRL SMILE.
[1] tell her she is BEAUTIFUL. not hott or fine.
[2] hold her hand at ANY moment even if it is just for a second.
[3] KISS her on the forehead
[4] leave her voice messages to wake up to.
[5] ALWAYS tell her you love her at any & and all times.
[6] when she is upset, hold her tight & tell her how much she means to u
[7] recognize the small thingsz ..they usually mean the most.
[8] call her BABE.
[9] SING to her no matter how horrible your voice is
[10] pick her over all the OTHER girls you hang out with
[11] write her NOTES. (she loves them)
[12] introduce her to family & friends as your girlfriend
[13] play with her hair.
[14] pick her up, tickle her, & PLAY WRESTLE with her.
[15] sit in the park & just TALK to her.
[16] tell her funny jokes, tell her stupid jokes, just tell her JOKES
[17] throw pebbles at her window in the middle of the night just because u missed her.
[18] let her fall asleep in your arms
[19] CARVE YOUR NAMES INTO TREE.
[20] if she`s mad. KiSS her
[21] give her piggyback rides
[22] bring her ROSES just because
[23] treat her the same around your friends as you do when you`re alone
[24] look her in the eyes & SMILE
[25] let her take as many pictures as she wants
[26] SLOW DANCE with her, even if there isn't any music playin
[27] KISS HER IN THE RAIN.
[28] if you`re in love with her.. Tell her

Honestly, I don't know that these are the best ideas. How many girls do I know that like being wrestled with? I just can't see that being a common scenario. That's what the "domestic disturbance" calls on Cops really are. And kissing in the rain? How is that different from regular kissing, except that it looks better in movies? And the "as many pictures as she wants" thing. Most girls I know hate having their pictures taken by guys, but it might be a one-way street there. And the whole "Babe" thing. That seems a little demeaning and embarrassing. My clients (I'm talking about insurance fraud scams when I was like 8, not prostitution) always used to hate it when I called them that.

Now some of the other ones make a bit more sense. The slow-dancing, I hear that works pretty well. The smiling... well, you can't have anything but smiling. Talking to her in the park and telling her jokes... yes. Those are the ones I would bet most heavily on. Oh yeah, and telling her you love her. That seems like it would be really obvious, but for some reason it isn't. Stupid world.

Hmmm... seems like throwing pebbles at a window would get you arrested.

So the lesson today is: The internet is either always wrong or it's usually mixed between wrong and right but always very misleading. I think I'll go with the second option. In the above example, there were truths and falsehoods. But if you weren't careful, you might accidentally think it was all right and do something stupid (like beat up your girlfriend thinking that she'll get that you're just "play wrestling").

On the internet, you have to keep your eyes and ears open so that you don't fall into a stupid trap and buy a whole case of Enzyte or download a million virii (look, I know the rest of you call them viruses, but I'm not the rest of you. And I can ignore spellcheck.). Think, man! Don't just act like a robot! Don't just believe what you're told!

Wikipedia FTW!

(btw this is one of the fastest posts I've ever written.)

Balalaika! Balaclava! Meryl Silverburgh!

2008-05-27T22:27:00.004-05:00

I'm listening to "Wind of Change" by Scorpions right now. If you don't know, it's about the fall of the Iron Curtain, and it's a song that would make me cry if I were physically able to cry.

It's such a touching song. So full of hope. So full of the joy of liberty and unity. So full of love for mankind.

It's the song that we should all sing.

Dr. Hal Emmerich was a great man. Sure he slept with his step-mom while his dad was drowning in a swimming pool. Sure he abandoned his step-sister. Sure he designed a nuclear death machine. But he still cared for mankind. A world full of Dr. Emmerichs would be a great thing.

Hm. Whatever happened to the hope? The happiness? The dignity through wrath?

Maybe it's still there. Maybe we just aren't looking hard enough. Maybe you can only see something like that in the rearview mirror.

How about we try to bring that back? How would we?

Let your balalaika sing
What my guitar wants to say.

Maybe I only say crap like this because I'm an educated white upper-class Protestant male.

If you hadn't noticed, I'm trying to make you guys think.

Pennin Manathai Thottu?

2008-05-27T09:58:00.003-05:00

So last night I was sitting around bored, and I decide to look through my old bookmarks folder. Now I prefer direct URL entry to bookmarks, but I still have some.

One of the bookmarks I found was labeled "Why I eat at Bombay House." I like Indian food. I still remember the first time I had it. I was a little under the weather stomachwise to start with, but when I stayed at the hotel the next day rather than go out with the family, I still heated up some lamb curry and tandoori bread in the microwave. That was a day to remember.

Anyhow so in India they have really elaborate music videos. Even more elaborate are the movies. Full of huge song-and dance numbers, sort of like West Side Story or Hairspray or whatever (pick your poison). Thing is the song-and-dance numbers are much funnier to Western audiences. A freind of mine very accurately described it once as a whole village of Micheal Jacksons.

Anyhow here's the video.

VIDEO ON YOUTUBE!

Look at some of the other videos from India too.

It's a cart, not a buggy.

2008-05-26T13:23:00.003-05:00

Shopping is so much more fun with men than with women. No offense, but I really prefer to do it with representatives of my own gender.

Situation: Bass Pro Shop. Little bro playing hunting video game. Big bro looking at MASSIVE BUCKS XV and WHITETAILS GONE WILD IX DVDs. (Don't ask me why people actually watch those.)

Mom: Hey! Stop touching stuff! Only look at something if you're going to buy it! Come on, we need to try on socks.

Dad: Hey, the XBox still works, right? OK, put it in the cart. You can be Trophy Hunters when we get home. Let's go look at anchors.

Situation: Kroger, creamed corn aisle. Little bro sitting on the cart, big bro juggling boxes of noodles.

Mom: OK, run back and get me six boxes of unbleached wheat germ and a can of tofu.

Dad: Goes to find the Twinkies while the brothers stage a coffee bean fight. Mmm, hazelnut.

Situation: Gas station. Little bro trying to figure out what condoms are, big bro playing with lighters.

Mom: HEY! We're leaving!

Dad: Tells Trojan Man joke and buys a lighter.

Really. Shopping is so much more fun with a guy who understands you. A guy who doesn't make you try on the underwear before you buy them. A guy who joins in on the ridicule of your little brother. A guy who wants you to eat nothing but pizza, hotdogs, A1 steak sauce, and ice cream for a week.

Huh, vinyl is extra twangy.

2008-05-23T19:02:00.003-05:00

I have a subscription to Scientific American, and I finally got a new issue in the mail today (yay for free time to read a very wordy magazine about evolution and global warming). One of the articles was interesting.

It was about healthful effects of blogging. I had never thought much about healthful effects of blogging, but the stuff it said made a bunch of sense. Plus the pictures made it so I didn't have to read as much.

Let's see if I can find a link to the article...

Crap, no. Anyway, blogging cures AIDS, triggers dopamine release, boosts limbic system response.

FIN.

I floated lonely as the night!

2008-05-22T19:40:00.005-05:00

Today, I was a stand-up comedian.

To me, there's no higher goal than humor. I mean, it's been around since Creation. If God can make asses talk, it can't be all that bad to be funny.

Now when I say funny, I mean funny. Not gimmick funny, more like things that can only be said once. Things like YOU JUST WANT THE BALL SO BAD. Things like MORE GAMES!

I don't like a lot of the crap that's on television these days. I hate all the poop jokes. I hate the sacrilege. I hate Family Guy. I'm not a big fan of the dudes they have on Comedy Central, read: Carlos Mencia and that fat dude that I saw on the TV in that greasy motel room.

I like jokes that make you think. I'm not talking jokes about politicians (even though that Bruce Tinsley guy is hecka funny). I'm talking jokes that are extensions of the universal human spirit (Jim Casy anyone?), jokes that reveal something basic, jokes that draw our attention towards ourselves. Make us see ourselves for what we really are, and really can be.

Jokes that make you smile.

Everyone else does it.

2008-05-20T20:01:00.004-05:00

(Before we get started, these weird titles are starting to confuse even me.)

I think I've done well this year.

I certainly did better than last year. I was way happier. I worked a lot less and got way better results.

At the beginning of the year, there's always people who tell you to write down your goals. I always find that mine are strange. It's always keep up the good work. Never do something better. Never do something new. It's just survive. Not that it hasn't worked well for me. I can certainly say that I've gotten way more mileage than anybody has a right to out of goals like that.

I was at a party this afternoon. I was doing the usual, telling all my funniest stories about how I got emphysema from consuming enough cigarette smoke in one hour to be the equivalent of smoking two packs a day for the rest of my shortened life. Anyhow, there was a shim serving pizza, and we got to making fun of it. Somehow that led us to compare wallets. I was having fun with the fortune cookie slip "Confucius say: lovers in triangle not on square," and I found a folded up index card.

GOALS 2007-08

Finish reading Old Testament (not done, I just read Isaiah a million times)
Finish learning German (not enough time)
Do good in skool (one of those aforementioned null goals)
Get a 5 on the APUSH exam (I dunno what I got, but I think I did good)
Not go on strike (done!)
Build/buy a three-stage coil gun with integrated laser sight (nope)

That's what I wanted to accomplish in the last 10 months. That's a load of bilge.

I did get a lot more done than that. I lived a full life. I took risks. I didn't get eaten by a Chips Ahoy! cookie. I fixed my computers like a million times. I traveled the world. I told awesome jokes. I made new freinds. I still refuse to spell freinds properly though. I suffered through all sorts of weird weather. I mowed the lawn after sundown. I fished. I hunted. I walked. I walked loads. I smiled! even though my teeth need to be flossed.

Hm. I'll go floss my teeth then.

Hey, ten minutes at a time, kid.

Edit: Since it's quite fashionable this season, anonymous posting is now available here too!

That breeze feels good; thank goodness for windows.

2008-05-17T16:22:00.006-05:00

Check out this rock I found!

Today I had nothing to do. SO I cleaned my room. Then I skateboarded. Then I rode my bike. Then I went outside and walked around in a fieldish sort of area.

I started throwing large rocks into the pond from the top of a culvert. I was bored out of my skull and I wanted to go swimming, but I didn't want to go swimming enough to risk my life with the cottonmouths.

Well, I was throwing rocks into the pond (most of you chumps would call it a lake, but I knew this Lithuanian dude once and he would have called a pond, so it's a pond) in any case. In utter desperation, I sat down on the culvert hoping to see a neon knight or something else that could entertain me.

I started smushing ants with my thumb, and picking the ticks off of my arm. I looked down, and behold! there was a thing that could entertain me. I believe it's a chunk of variscite, but my mineral knowledge is a little rusty.

I need to go on a rock hunt soon. I might do that the next time I'm in the desert. Hopefully, I'll find the Ark of the Covenant.

By the way, I hate the image support in Blogger. It always resizes my images. I know how to hack around it, but then the images wouldn't fit. Sorry guys.

I liked it more when it was just Fridays.

2008-05-16T20:39:00.004-05:00

I wrote a poem once about my favorite video game, Return to Castle Wolfenstein: Enemy Territory. It was OK. I wrote about hackers and cheaters and people who swear on clean-language servers.

I never really felt good about it. I don't have a lot of confidence in my writing abilities. Funny that it was the same year that I got selected to go to Alfred is a good shot with a crossbow to that fancy-pantsy writing contest. Nooo, Dracula, don't! Yes! I knew he'd have something up his sleeve!

Anyhow so I went to the contest and hated every minute of it. I hated all the darned waiting Yes Batman won! Crap, the Penguin is still around! I figure about the only good thing I got out of it was a Far Side desk calendar (I do love the cartoons) and this blog post.

If anyone's wondering what all the interjections are, I'm watching The Batman vs. Dracula on TB. Haha, tuberculosis. I mean television. It's one of my favorite shows.

Anyway what I'm wanting to say most is I've been at this a while, and I'm still sort of wondering how and where and when it'll pay out. Maybe I'll be a god of thunder in a rockroll band. Maybe I'll be an office jockey. Maybe I'll be an actor (I might actually be able to do that, I'll have to remember that). Maybe I'll be a sweaty obese guy behind a counter making Reuben sandwiches for even more obese and sweaty tourists in Boston.

I sure hope it's cool in the end.

I think I might go work on that first one. It's a lot of work I'm going to have to do to go from musical mortal to Thor or Odin or Loki or Twi. Preferably Thor. He's my namesake.

I claimed the title of King of Scotland the other day. Turns out all one needs to be king is big words and a claim to fame; turns out I have both. Turns out it's good to be king. I can't wait to go conquer somebody, and have my likeness used in lousy, noisy local-TV car dealership ads.

I think that's disgusting.

2008-05-12T17:23:00.003-05:00

She took the cup. I can't believe she took the cup.

OK, so here's the lowdown. I'm rooting around in all the castoff junk from the graduates (hey, a dollar!), and I find a stainless steel coffee travel mug thing. Now, I don't drink coffee, but I kept it anyhow because I figured it would come in handy. One kid even challenged me to build a bomb with it.

So, I took it to homeroom and opened it with two of my close friends watching. It obviously hadn't been cleaned in several months. The outside of the lid had coffee residue all over it. The inside had what looked like pencil shavings floating in thinned-out maple syrup at the bottom, with some sort of pancake or mushroom or something stuck near the top.

Today I decided to give away some of my junk. I put two airline barf bags, two microwave popcorn thingies, a case of black-market cocoa, some other black-market food, the coffee cup, and a sign labeled "FREE STUFF" on top of my locker this morning.

By lunchtime it was all gone.

I tried to find out who took it (one person said she was going to take the cocoa if it was left at the end of the day, but someone else got it first; I found the still - full box on top of my locker later, apparently replaced by the one who took it; an hour later, and it was gone again. I wonder if that same girl did get it in the end), but to no avail.

At the end of the day, I walked into that one classroom. I saw the cup! She had taken it. I'm going to laugh at her secretly for the next two years or so.

If you can guess who it was that took the mug you win the contest.

I knew a kid named Fred who ate glue.

2008-05-11T20:44:00.006-05:00

It's amazing how a little scribble next to a signature can brighten a guy's life for a few days.

It's amazing how putting that scribble in parentheses multiplies the effect tenfold.

It's amazing how moving my pick up against the strings instead of down makes the song I'm playing sound cheerier.

It's those little drops of rain. Except there's not really any pain to whisper about.

Kind of funny how I always thought the lyrics were different. It crushes my dreams. Knowing the truth changes everything.

I bet I just confused you. I bet you misunderstood that. Not your fault, it's only natural.

It reminds me of the time I said "mes cheveux... elles sont tres belles" to see if I could confuse people into thinking I was talking about the girl in the corner instead of my hair. It really should have been "mes cheveux... ils sont tres beaux."

Some things aren't meant to be said. "Things too silly to be said are sung," said Voltaire.

Wasted Years

2008-05-10T13:38:00.000-05:00

From the coast of gold, across the seven seas,
I'm travelling on, far and wide,
But now it seems, I'm just a stranger to myself,
And all the things I sometimes do, it isn't me but someone else.

I close my eyes, and think of home,
Another city goes by, in the night,
Ain't it funny how it is, you never miss it til it's gone away,
And my heart is lying there and will be til my dying day.

So understand
Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years,
Face up...make your stand,
And realize you're living in the golden years.

Too much time on my hands, I got you on my mind,
Can't ease this pain, so easily,
When you can't find the words to say, it's hard to make it through another day,
And it makes me wanna cry, and throw my hands up to the sky.

So understand
Don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years,
Face up...make your stand,
And realize you're living in the golden years.

Journalism? Isn't that supposed to be for sissies? I watch too much Fox News.

2008-05-08T16:56:00.003-05:00

Well, I accepted the invitation today.

For years Mom's been trying to get me to do the newspaper or yearbook. I guess it's because of all the underground papers I've tried to run. She thinks I'll be good at it.

So I always got a form and filled it out halfway before summarily forgetting it.

Today a friend asked if I would join, as they're going to lose a member. I figured "what the heck it won't hurt to write a sample, I've got enough time." So it looks like I'm going to fill out an application.

I figure all of my bloggerific experience should help some.

I feel bad for not applying to those jobs at TechRepublic and Hack_a_day.

Whee! German man two feet in front of me!

2008-05-03T18:37:00.002-05:00

I was watching concert videos on YouTube to get some pointers on what I might want to do for the talent show next year, and I watched Still Loving You by Scorpions.

Right about four minutes into the song, there was a shot of some grandma with a stagefront ticket. You should have seen the way she nodded. In fact, you can.

Picture of grandma

YouTube video

Jahaa! v57

2008-05-03T14:18:00.001-05:00

It's all good. I totally got away with wrecking the truck! I didn't have to pay for it, and I got a free shirt. Nobody's mad at me, and I still get to have an awesome party (as of now).

Darn.

2008-05-01T16:39:00.001-05:00

I ran into the dumpster today. It sucks. I smashed the headlight on the right side. No fun. No idea whether insurance will pay for this (no matter what, rates will go up).

Sorry, guys.

2008-04-29T18:14:00.004-05:00

Def Leppard.
'Nuff said.

You can never beat their style of hard-rocking, fun-having, one-armed-drumming, facemelting metal. Yes, they did have a one-armed drummer. And he is AWESOME. You oughta listen to him.

Gunter glieben glauchen globen!

Don't fall for this. If you do, however, please post a reply. It's for science.

A Cartoon. Epic.

2008-04-28T17:50:00.009-05:00

Yeah, I decided to post another one of my cartoons. I notice that my output isn't as prolific as it used to be, probably because The Original Adventures of Foo Mankoo the China Man, while popular, was destroyed in a freak accident. I was working on The New Adventures of Foo Mankoo the China Man and His Gang for like two years, and lots of people liked those, but it started to feel a bit like Hanna-Barbera with all my cartoons being just remixes of each other. Plus the notebook I was using to source The New Adventures is in such bad repair that I'd have to scan all the old bits of stuff and go digital, which wouldn't be such a bad thing. I might do that this summer.

I remember the one with Freiherr Kaiser and me in it. I don't think I ever gave that one a series title. It was pretty good, except I used the same ending for every strip. I was in a weird mood the whole time I was doing that comic. Thus I had a weird expression in every strip. I don't think I got the punch lines out in a way that most people would have thought was funny. All of the jokes in that series were aimed at cartoonists anyhow. And the multilingual thing certainly didn't make it any more accessible.

I might bring Freiherr back as a hero in a new series. I'll give it a name and all. I'll come up with a new villain, more dastardly by far than Lao Che. It would help if I could find some old Freiherr Kaiser originals first.

Bitterness is never a good thing to have in cartoons. I know that firsthand.

This reminds me of the "Heroes of Terrorism" worksheet / coloring page I tried selling to little kids a few years ago. It was a great idea, but it didn't catch on because little kids don't know the difference between Adolf Hitler, Benito Mussolini, and Fallout Boy. GOODNESS those guys are terrorismifying. ouagohaog. men do not wear makeup.

Anyway, here's a link to the comic. The chick isn't a real person, just a generic because I can't draw girls and I'd feel insulting to botch the picture of a real person or put words in a real person's mouth, and we all know that I never insult people. But she really is just a generic.

Sorry about the impossible handwriting and the nerd humor.

Hey, lookie there, I had a post title that actually made sense.

I was going to try something new and put a signature on the post, but I remembered that that would both compromise my anonymity and pose an ID-theft risk.

On da radio:
Girls on Film - Duran Duran

Humans are people too.

2008-04-22T21:24:00.003-05:00

Well, I'm having a party. A kick-butt HUGE party. The kind that's normally classified as a "kegger," except, seeing as how there won't be any liquor, then I think it'll just be a big party.

Right now I'm considering a guest list of approximately 100 persons (Woo sophomores!), and I'm sure half of them won't show up. That's fine. I don't like the people in that half anyhow. They're either jerks or losers or posers or I just plain don't know them. They aren't my real friends.

It'll be hard to get set up this fast for this many people. I'll need to make and distribute flyers. Or invitations, if you want to call them that. I'll need to by a buttload of soda (Jarritos!) and chips and stuff. I'll need to get out my chocolate fountain. I'll need to rent some Three Stooges DVDs and maybe get someone who owns Rock Band to come, but that tends to attract posers. Eww. I'll get out Twister and grill some hot dogs. I'll make sure nobody breaks their ankle like last time (we're going to have serious liability issues if it ever happens again).

I'll have to fine-tune the stereo, maybe.

I'll need to buy and/or make some real decorations (I'm not spray-painting a bamboo pole silver again, it's not Festivus).

I've already got some good dates down, in May. I want to make it a night (Friday!) that everyone can come, but I don't want to have it so close to exams that people will study instead.

I dunno, I think it might work. I'm not going to postpone it 6 times like that one party. I'm not going to wait until the week of to tell people, like that other party.

Cross your fingers!

I used to have a yellow bike.

2008-04-15T18:53:00.002-05:00

I have a tube of yellow paint on my desk. I used it to paint a wooden short bus I made.

SHO'T BUS

I drive around the county before sunrise every morning (Radar Love!). It's pretty fun. But as it approaches sunrise, and the morning DJ's get on the air, skool buses come out to eat their prey. They crawl around the curves of the country roads, searching out their breakfast.

When they find a child they want to digest (about every 25 yards, if that), they flash all sorts of warnings and stop. A guard steps out and wands the child, who is wearing a white shirt reaching to his ankles. You know, makes sure the kid isn't carrying a stolen gun to tear up the insides of the bus with.

You done a great "jorb" out there, RT

2008-04-06T19:27:00.004-05:00

I almost got a job at the Apple Store yesterday, believe it or not.

We went there after lunch to get the little rubber sleeves for everyone's iPods. Naturally, I didn't have anything to do but stand around in my ripped jeans, red canvas belt, stained undershirt, plaid Vans, and unbuttoned flannel spelunking shirt (the point here is to demonstrate how much my "reformed grunge" style clashes with the sleek metrosexual look pushed by Apple) and make fun of the employees and customers. They actually used to call me "Mr. PC" there, but they got a whole bunch of new employees who don't know me.

Anyhow, Dad ended up getting sidetracked looking at a MacBook Air. Naturally, I had to explain the difference between a hard disk (I wish everyone would stop calling them hard drives!) and the new solid-state drives. He walked around to the back of the table and saw the Time Machine that Apple's selling now. What it basically is is a WiFi access point combined with a network-attached storage device. Point of note - don't buy an Apple AirPort Extreme. They suck. Go with a Linksys WRT45G.

So the employee comes over (one good thing about those stores is that they really do have good service) and tries to explain to Dad what it is. Dad says "Oh, it's like a server." Well, not as far as I can tell. It's just an NAS, an AP, a router, and a gateway in one box. That's too much to explain though. I'd have to tell him how the entire Internet works and wash away quite a few preconceived notions at the same time. But the worst was when the sales dude (man was he tall) said that a terabyte was 100 gigabytes. Oh, no. I corrected him. It's 1024 gigabytes, even though some manufacturers would say 1000 to boost their stats. Immediately I was asked if I wanted a job.

Too bad I thought they were joking. I would have fun teaching know-nothings about how stuff works.

I'm flavor-blasted! Get it?

2008-03-16T18:34:00.003-05:00

I just took a trip to California for my spring break. Fun stuff.

The thing is, it was snowing at my home city (Southeastern United States) on the day I left. Now, I have yet to check my reliable sources, but I'm darn sure the stuff had melted before nine the following morning. It wasn't real thick, and there wasn't a whole ton of it, but it WAS very wet. Very wet.

Being at the airport at dusk in the snow felt so much like Shadow Moses that I couldn't help playing "Discovery" by KCE Japan Sound Team on my iPod. Yes, I DO have that on my iPod. In fact, to heck with Pandora and The Beatles, I'm going to play the whole album right now on iTunes.

'Nuff with the accidental endorsements.

So, it was like being at Shadow Moses. I took some pictures. I think I deleted them. What with the black and white, the blur, and the snow, most of them were too surreal even for me. I kept a few really neat ones though. You might ask me to show them to you.

Speaking of such, I beat Metal Gear REX on the plane. I seem to get a lot of boss fights done on planes.

So we got to my relatives really late. Woohoo.

Next day I woke up and went shooting in the desert. I took some more really good pictures. I shot a Smith and Wesson .357 Magnum revolver (fun stuff!!!), a Mini-14 (fun stuff!!!), a .22 with a scope on it (fun stuff!), a homemade musket (fun stuff!!), and of course, a WWII-era M1911 (fun stuff!!!!).

Turns out my grandparents have an original Magnavox Odyssey2. If you don't know, that's one of the oldest console gaming systems there is, and as far as I know, extremely rare. I took it apart and took some more pictures.

I think all I have to do now is build an adapter so I can use it with a modern TV. Stupid non-standard RF fitting >P.

We went and ate Korean food one night. That was good. I think that was the same day as when we went to the Office in Long Beach. If you're in my family, you understand what the Office in Long Beach is. Otherwise, tough peanuts.

I went to the beach a good two or three times. I got a new swimsuit just so I could. It has a few wide blue and white stripes, like what people wore a hundred years ago.

I went on a campus tour of CalTech in Pasadena. Man, they are NERDY there. They get bonus points for that. They also have a basketball team that's almost as bad as the Phillies (yeah, different sports, but for the record the Phillies are the losingest team in the history of ALL sports). More bonus points. It seems that they also have a big thing for elaborate pranks. Mondo bonus points. I got a hat that says JPL, a t-shirt that's prank-related, and a t-shirt with a diagram of a caffeine molecule on it. Not that I drink coffee. I just like chemistry.

We ate at Tommy's. It's better than Wienerschnitzel. Wienerschnitzel doesn't even sell schnitzel. Tommy's is awesome.

We ate at In N Out. That's also pretty sweet. They have good service. I can speak regular, polite English to get a meal. J'accuse, McDonald's.

I went to Fry's. Now that is an AWESOME store. They have a whole aisle of floppy disks! Clearly a place for me.

Let's see. I'm pretty sure I covered all the meaty stuff, but I think I missed something. All the news that's fit to type, you know.

Anyhow. On the plane back I finally got Plan 9 from Bell Labs to boot properly. I even got Rio to run. Only took a whole battery's worth of power.

I also read some French stuff. L'Equipe, their version of Sports Illustrated, Mieux Vivre/Votre Argent, and a catalog from Faconnable.

Hm. I still can't shake that feeling. I know I left some stuff out intentionally.

Hey, if you ask, I'll show you the 390 pictures I took. You might enjoy that.

We've done this before.

2008-03-03T22:01:00.002-06:00

Blogging is hard work. First you have to think of a topic to post about. Then you have to go to the effort to put out a good post. Then you have to actually post it. Then you have to show it off. Then you have to feel guilty because it's not your best work.

This isn't my best work.

Dokken is an OK band.

2008-02-28T20:55:00.004-06:00

Hm. Today I guess I had fun. Doing what, Heaven knows. But still, I feel that I must have accomplished something today. I think I slept through homeroom. I know I pwn'd in French. I know my eyes are watering now. Darn, I'm tired.

I didn't have to go to my sister's class play (I actually DID want to go, imagine that) because I had to do my AP US History homework. So I spent several hours with Microsoft Word and Wikipedia learning about the Hawley-Smoot Act (yeah, funny name, but apparently it was referenced in Ferris Bueller's Day Off. I guess I don't remember it because I was too busy laughing at the analogous scene in WarGames. Good times.), which was apparently greatly responsible for the Depression. That reflects badly on my home sate of Utah, which I believe was the home state of Smoot (Senator, R). Now I could care less about Oregon, the home state of Hawley (Representative, I thinks he's an R too). I mean, who needs Oregon? It's a flippin' British colony, for goodness sake. It sounds like some sort of herb. Maybe it's oregano, which sounds similar. Maybe it's pot, which I hear gets a lot of mileage on the West Coast. Oregon. I'm going to go try to write a song about Oregon now.

Why is this making me think of teeth? I don't think of teeth a lot. I was reading an old NatGeo (not for the naked people, I don't think there even were any in the issue I was reading. Somewhere in the first half of 1964.) and I saw a Yemeni whitewasher with terrible teeth.

Let's come full circle.

Schlotzsky's Deli. Funny name, serious sandwich. We have pizza too, wethinks. Er, wethunk. What's wrong here?

Hawley-Smoot. Funny name, serious legislation. It'll make your home state seem like a drug, but at least you don't need to brush your teeth after you read it.

Quizzes!

2008-02-27T16:40:00.003-06:00

I love these things. They're pretty accurate, if you answer honestly.

OS quiz:

Last time I was TRS-DOS. Looks like things have changed a bit.

File type:

Not too happy with this one. I was an .exe last time.

White and Nerdy quiz:

Wow, I was in the 90's last time. I wonder how I got so "normal" all of a sudden.

Programming Language quiz:

That's true. Odd, though, that I've never even seen a chunk of Prolog source.

Website quiz:

Not true. I think I was Amazon last time.

Nerd quiz:

What else?

Nerd quiz:

Yup. I was never much of a sci-fi type.

Stupid test:

Sweet! 0% stupid!

Computer Geek quiz:

No surprises there. For real, man.

Zombie Survival quiz:

I think it took off points for my preference of an assault rifle to a shotgun. These jokers apparently haven't seen how good I am with an assault rifle. Accuracy where it counts, firepower when it matters.

Trekkie quiz:

Sweet. Honestly, I thought I'd do worse. I love Star Trek, but I can't watch it as much as I like because I can't afford the DVDs and it's not on TV anywhere near as often as it used to be.

Money Lover quiz:

71st percentile. I love money, but even I have scruples.

Hmm. That seems to be it. I thought there were more somewhere. If I find them I'll let you know.

Poetry...

2008-02-25T21:01:00.002-06:00

Yeah, so teech sez we've gots to write a poem in da style of Whitman or Dickinson. So I sez...
Yeah, keep on talking, kiddo. You're just another brick in the wall. You're gonna go home and get beat within an inch of your life by your fat psychotic wife...

Actually, no. His wife isn't fat or psychotic (as far as I know.) And he is a nice guy. He likes the Red Sox! What can be so bad about a guy who likes the Red Sox?

Well, here's my poem in the style of Whitman.

Mountains

Rolling near and climbing far,
Surmounting seas and dwarfing deserts,
Touching the sky mountains tower over us all.

Standing solid, firm, and insurmountable
They become beacons of strength.

Stones build into a hill,
The hill builds into a ridge,
The ridge becomes a mountain.

On and on the mountains stretch,
Fractal beauty unencumbered by scale.

The solemn giants sleep,
Content to be capped by snow;
They yield to cloud and wind.

Storm, quake and time combine;
They are the only forces that can yoke the beasts.

VIRUS! CALL DR. KASPERSKY!

2008-02-23T12:34:00.003-06:00

I've been out of commission with a cold the last few days. Pretty much I missed two tests, lots of fun, and some lunch. But I got to play XBox, watch TV, surf the Net, and eat cookie dough all day! With permission! Only problem is I'm tired as anything and my throat hurts. And I have to make up a ton of skoolwork.

Maybe if I updated my AVG more often I wouldn't get sick.

(I replaced my guitar strings.)

Catch my drift?

2008-02-20T17:55:00.003-06:00

This also inaugurates the first comic in my Comic Blog. I told you I'd post something eventually!
Yeah, the first comic is just a computerized version of this. With really bad color.

Pictures!

2008-02-19T17:52:00.003-06:00

I'm beginning to run out of subjects. If you have anything that can be photographed, please tell me.

Sorry about the cruddy quality - it's the Internet. Go find my Flickr if you want better versions. I was thinking about having another contest, but I forgot what it was going to be. I'll tell you when I remember.

SO MUCH TO WRITE

2008-02-17T20:25:00.003-06:00

Yeah, I just got back from spending a week in Washington participating in a national security simulation exercise. I played the role of President of the United States!

Pretty much I solved a simulation of possible crises in the Congo arising due to Chinese influence and the regular African war-lording that goes on around there. Plus I got to meet Marsha Blackburn, my Representative. Her intern gave me a personal tour of the tunnels under the House offices and the tunnels under the Capitol, not to mention the Capitol itself.

It was raining when I did that (Tuesday) and I walked around in front of the Capitol for a half-hour or so afterwards. I stood in the sleet on the Grant memorial, looking over the pool at the Washington Monument. It was very touching, contemplating the blood debt created simply to keep the Union whole.

The next day I went to the Lockheed-Martin Fighter Demonstration Center. That's basically their showroom to sell all their fancy new jets to the military. It was SO fancy. They had big touchscreen displays everywhere, along with all the regular trade show exhibit stuff. But that's not really anything. They had simulators of the F-22 and F-35 fighters. If you didn't already know, that was FREAKIN SWEET. AND I got to pilot both of them! That F-35 is totally going to put the United States lightyears ahead of everyone else. The F-22, the current fighter, is pretty kick-tail, but it really is nothing compared to the F-35. In the F-35, when you want to shoot someone down, all you have to do is tap on the touch screen where their blip is. The plane does the rest. Same to bomb runways and whatnot. It's so hardcore. I want one of those for Christmas.

I ate lunch at an Indian place in Chinatown with a buddy of mine, then we went to Starbucks and made ourselves conspicuous by reading The Onion in plain view.

Then I went to the Spy Museum, which quite honestly didn't meet expectations. I did like the tile floor in that one room with the TV and all the James Bond memorabilia though.

I went to the Lincoln Memorial, Korean War memorial, and Vietnam War Memorial. It's pretty hard on some guys. My VP broke down and cried. I'm glad we can remember the sacrifices of over 100,000 men who died in two wars that were lost because of politics.

Ate lunch at Union Station that day. I found a cheap sushi place in the basement and had a platter of sashimi and cucumber rolls for eight bucks, with Haagen-Dazs for dessert.

I went to Arlington National Cemetery. I think I made some people mad because I openly questioned why RFK was buried there if he was never a President, or, to my knowledge, an active member of the Armed Forces. Correct me if I'm wrong.

I enjoyed the changing of the guard at the Tomb of the Unknowns. It's good that we care so much about those who gave life, limb, and name to save liberty.

I went to the Air and Space Museum with another buddy. It's neat to see all the stuff that went into putting a man on the Moon. It makes me want to be an astronaut; one of the only true explorers left, one of the greatest adventurers in the history of mankind.

We tried to go to the Archives, but there was a school group that stretched around the block, so we decided to go to the Arts and Industries museum instead. But it was closed, so we went to the National Museum of African Art. I was enlightened by the experience.

I also went to the FDR memorial. Not the best thing in the world. Not my favorite president in the world. Then I went to the Thomas Jefferson memorial, and after appreciating the great man's words of defiance, pretended to read a Korean newspaper.

I spent like 6 or 7 hours at Ronald Reagan National Airport today acting natural, reading The Appeal by John Grisham, and eating a churro. Goodness, I love those things. Eventually, I was tired of sitting around in Terminal C so I walked the four miles to the observation deck in between Terminal A and C. I read for twenty minutes or so as I watched the sun set, in all the Art-Deco glory of the observation deck. Completed 1940, you know. Then I hiked the 3.2 mile leg to the Terminal A bag-check/ticket counter place and got my boarding pass. Yay, First Class. I really wouldn't mind, though, if they shoved me under the seat or in one of the bins for the whole flight. It's just that I like peanuts and they give out peanuts in First Class.

Yeah, it's like 2100 local time and I'm a little tired.

I can't wait for skool Tuesday. I only told like one person that I was going out of town so I bet there's tons of people who are way off track with why I was gone the whole time.

Eat your heart out, Mrs. Davis. I don't need a chaperon.

I just made up a new slang word! Can you find it? First to tell me what it means wins!

2008-02-10T20:23:00.000-06:00

The other day I was joking with a friend that I oughta buy a t-shirt that says: "I hate your favorite band(s)!"

Now don't take that literally, or as an insult, because I'm listening to Gwen Stefani right now and I know plenty of people like her. It's just that if somebody has studied musicology (I doubt that's the proper term, let's call it music relations) as in-depth as I have (and I know it's not really all that deep, what I've done, but still), they would tend to wonder why people listen to some kinds of music and why some bands claim to belong to a certain genre.

Take, for example, Guns N' Roses. I used to like them. I don't anymore, except for pretty much one song, Mr. Brownstone. Maybe Live and Let Die. I figure it's because of the fact that they get way overplayed. I mean, Sweet Child of Mine did have a pretty neat riff in it, but that doesn't warrant the Fanjungismus it gets.

Then there's the bands that have 100 songs that sound exactly the same. Notably, you have Linkin Park, along with Nickelback and a bunch of other bands. Pretty much most modern bands.

Then we have the awesomest/poserest bands that only know one chord - the Power Chord. Totally 1337 to the xtreem, these bands know how to make more noise than any other, using only that one chord. I'm thinking bands like Green Day, Fallout Boy, &c. that claim to be heirs to the Punk Movement of 1976. Fools, the Clash said that you have to know THREE chords to be a punk band.

Maybe it's just that none of these bands have a keyboardist or an organist. Maybe it's because the lyrics are all crap.

I wish Smash Mouth was still around. Where's the Baha Men when you need them? Why doesn't The Fall get any airtime outside of Janet's Planet? Why did Van Halen have to get that Hagar moron? Why did Scorpions come out with a new, mediocre album? Why do people like Tom Morello so much more than Tom Verlaine? Why do people laugh at Rick Astley? Why do I find Dinosaur Jr. so disappointing?

I just hope I have a Smashing Time when my cousin comes down to London for a week.

Storm (The fury? The eye? The lame excuse for a title?)

2008-02-07T18:38:00.000-06:00

The other night we had a "bad storm" here. You know, water vapor, water droplets, jets of plasma shooting down from the sky. Bit of atmospheric pressure displacement too. You know, that newfangled "wind" stuff. It went in a circle in some places. It tore up a mall that I never went to.

I took some pictures! It's hard to get a good shot of lightning. You have to have 1/3200 second exposure and continuous shutter release. Plus you have to be good at actually taking pictures. You know, like artsy. I got some really bad lightning pictures, but it's lightning nonetheless.

Yes, I do believe that the cloud you see is a funnel cloud. I may be wrong though, so don't place any bets.

World War

2008-01-11T22:12:00.000-06:00

I have a World War raging in my home.

It's Green versus the Unified Army of Tan, Grey, and Renegade Green.

The UA fights to destroy the Green supply lines that run through the wet towel jungles of the bathroom.

The Green seeks to eradicate the UA hideouts in the downstairs, but take heavy losses from ambushes in the kitchen.

The UA rarely foray into the bedroom, where the Green garrison is located and the majority of their strength resides.

Green tank patrols often encounter UA mechanized infantry on the landing.

The office affords a DMZ where neither side has much of an influence, while the recroom is a no-man's-land where niether side can have an influence.

Telephoto

2008-01-02T21:34:00.000-06:00

Now for an explanation of these images. I went out today to do some telephoto work, and these are the results. The one with the base of the bottle on the sand is simply a piece of glass on a sandbar in a creek. The one with the other glass is some bottles I shot up with a BB gun a while back, once again on a sandbar in the creek. The one with the water and the leaf is simply that. The ferns and whatnot is ferns and whatnot.

The Bridge: Photography in the Forest

2007-12-31T13:45:00.000-06:00

Just about an hour or so ago I hiked out to a roadway bridge near my home and took some pictures. Not all of the exposures were very good, but it was fun to indulge my interests in arcane and industrial subjects.

Plus I got to take my dog. I was going to take some pictures of the sewage lift too, but it was pretty close to the road, and I didn't want her to run out to the road and get hit.

Christmas

2007-12-28T12:38:00.000-06:00

All three readers of my blog probably want to know what I got for Christmas.

- Nikon D40x
- AF-S Nikkor 18-55mm lens
- AF-S Nikkor 55-200mm lens
- Music Stand
- Robot
- Candy
- Money
- Tickets to see Trout Fishing in America
- Secondhand iPod mini, pink
- a night vision scope
- Severe battery shortage

Copyfight

2007-12-20T14:32:00.000-06:00

I just got a haircut. It makes me look like a redheaded Cory Doctorow. Really, I do.

We're sort of alike. I hate copyright laws too. They're only used by managers to embezzle legally from artists. For example, what band from 20 years ago still makes money off of their royalties? None of them, it's some fat chump in a wingback chair who gets all the cash. Authors may need publishers to reach a profitable audience, but they have to give away a huge portion of if not all of their creative control to the publishing house. Cartoonists are chained to marketing, just ask Bill Watterson. At least visual - arts people are smart enough to have avoided syndication.

Publish your work under creative commons or no-rights licensing today and help preserve the American way.

Christmas

2007-12-16T21:24:00.000-06:00

I just learned a new alphabet. It's the Elder Futhark runic script, and was used by Germanic tribesmen for several centuries.

It'll come in handy someday.

If anybody wants to get me a present for Christmas or my birthday (doesn't really matter which), I'd like an English translation of the Koran. I came across a copy of one today, and the binding was beautiful. The script was too, but I can't read Arabic, so, I'd like an English version.

It'd just be neat to have, eh? I'm sure it makes good reading, full of pearls of wisdom.

ETA: Incalculable

2007-12-13T21:23:00.000-06:00

Due to spam from an idiot, this post has been removed. Sorry.

Blogging is hard work.

2007-12-12T20:44:00.000-06:00

Blogging is hard work. I feel like I have this obligation to perform well.

I never considered myself a good writer. It's not a self esteem issue so much as an issue with the fact that I don't write poetry like the people classically thought of as good writers.

I write technical manuals. I write emails. I write profound speeches intended to rile up the masses to my cynical cause.

I never wrote for beauty. I never wrote to express any sort of emotion. I never wrote to do anything except communicate simple ideas and bits of data to people.

I'm a programmer at heart, so I appreciate the way code can become it's own kind of poetry. The statements made by a programmer can be woven into a simple pattern that has an infinite intrinsic power.

That's what poetry is. It's an attempt to form the natural languages of man in such a way that the words become more than words. They become symbols for something greater, something that exists somewhere in the hearts of all men and can never be totally extinguished from the human race.

We just need to keep talking. We need to realize the power that we wield, the power that no other form of life has ever had. The power to progress, but also the power to destroy. The power to influence something so mighty yet so fickle as mankind.

Humans seem to forget exactly what kind of gift they have been given. None of what we have could ever have existed before language was handed to men by some sort of Promethic messenger from heaven. None of what ever has been could ever have existed. Concepts themselves did not exist in the time before language. Only a barren world where the unwritten laws of Newtonian physics existed before that time.

Language is dynamic. It's like a four-way stop. The patterns of usage change constantly. For example, "thee" and "thou" used to be the singular forms of "you." But after 1066, French customs of using plural to indicate respect had influenced the English in such a way that those forms fell almost entirely out of use.

The same thing happens every day throughout the world. People with no understanding of their power effect our language in quite a negative way. Every day a new foul phrase is thought up, a new improper construction invented.

And they think it's cool to be misunderstood. I thought kids who were misunderstood were supposed to slit their wrists and listen to My Chemical Romance.

Oh wait, they do.

I respect my language, and I especially respect the French and Germans. The French
have a council that decides whether or not to allow new words to be used, and even gender of nouns is tightly controlled. The Germans for a century or more argued over whether Fraktur or Antiqua was more German and how those typefaces reflected the German history. (Personally, I favor Fraktur. I find it easier to read German in Fraktur than in Antiqua.)

I want to contribute.

In the words of David Waters, "all we have to do is... keep talking."

1984

2007-12-11T22:51:00.000-06:00

I regret having read 1984.

That's that. The first half of the book was wanton sex, and the second half was wanton violence.

I don't really like either. For example, the sex scene in Walking Tall pretty much ruined the movie. It was not central to the story and was, well, actually rather embarrassing.

I also hate the idea of "meaning" in fiction. I had to read three books over the summer: Jane Eyre, Fahrenheit 451, and The Glass Menagerie. The Glass Menagerie was just plain ol' dumb. That's why I didn't like it. Unexpectedly, I liked Jane Eyre, even though I did sort of set fire to my copy of the book.

But Fahrenheit 451, which was a favorite of mine when I was little, was the worst. It's like I have to find a secret analogy to unions and the author's life story encrypted into the text. Teachers never seem to understand that maybe books are written just because people like books.

Maybe they do. But the fact is, they continue to lead us into the torment of reading good books and then ruining them with dull analysis of obvious facts.

No wonder I'm considered some sort of threat to society. I'm always the first to voice the thought of Why in the h*** do we have to do this it's so obvious Ray Bradbury just thought constant TV watching was bad for us that thunders through each student's brain.

Then I'm labeled as a "disruption" or a "troublecauser" and sentenced to the horrible fate of psychological analysis.

I remember the time I was accused of planning to bomb the Holocaust Museum in Washington. A substitute teacher had seen the new firing mechanisms for guns that I had doodled idly on a paper during a boring video about The Bear Flag Revolt or something obscure like that. A regular teacher (who much to my joy has since been relieved of her duties) misunderstood my negative review of A Diary of Anne Frank as an NSDAP rant.

Really, I just thought the book was dumb. I've got no problem with Jews. I've had lots of Jewish friends.

Anyhow, I was sent to the guidance office under false pretenses. I had to explain to (poor) Mrs. Guidance Counselor (I really do feel sorry for her, she had to listen to me in a moment which I concede was not my best) why I love guns and why I disliked the diary.

Xeroxes of the essay and the guns, along with samples of my Cyrillic handwriting, were circulated among the school system - including elementary schools - to warn of my "dangerous" behavior.

I was discriminated against by those who fear dissent. I am proud. No, the picture you have gathered of me is wrong. I do not wear all black, I do not go to malls with AK47s, I do not do graffiti (anymore), and I am not socially inept. I do not need to kill because I have no enemies who could pose any threat to my existence at this time.

I am a normal kid with poorly defined political views. A lack of understanding between myself and the establishment caused me to suffer for my views. I was proud to be a martyr for a cause I believe to be correct: the use of free speech for the purpose it was provided. That purpose is to through public means engage in discourse in order to expose the illogical fallacies of those who are wrong and to find and disseminate truth.