Thursday, July 22, 2010

Is it performance?

The No. 1 easiest way to piss me off on the internet is to ask me to watch a video. I'm on IRC chattin' away or something like that and all of a sudden, I see a YouTube URL with that stupid watch?v=y892fweoiufvhyr398afwoijhyw9 thing after it. What is y892fweoiufvhyr398afwoijhyw9 supposed to mean? Is this a link to your local news station's report about a lost duckling? Is it a Fates Warning music video? Is it a Hannah Montana lookalike? Is it some gas-pedal-fetish video that, in the time it took for you to find "Copy" and "Paste" in the Edit menu, has already been deleted by YouTube's porn police?

Sure, I'll watch a Fates Warning video, but only because I like Fates Warning. But eleven times out of ten, you aren't sending me a Fates Warning video. It's something that has some halfway funny joke buried 6:42 into a 9:33 video. And I can't just skip to 6:42, I've got to watch the whole darn thing because the joke relies on context. If you have something to tell me, tell me yourself. Don't link me to a dumb video I don't have the attention span for.