Thursday, February 26, 2009

Itchy knuckles

Does anybody but me ever use the fullscreen mode in browsers? It's kind of neat, and almost handy when you get used to it. The shortcut is usually F11. Try that the next time you use any sort of kiosk that has a keyboard: hit F11. If you're lucky, it's only like Opera or Internet Explorer in fullscreen mode, displaying a custom webpage. I did it the other day at Carmax. Of course, it was only IE5 displaying the Carmax webpage so that customers could search the Carmax inventory conveniently. I changed some setting or other so that people would have a harder time going places other than that site. Helpful ol' me.

Monday, February 16, 2009

Read the Readings

This is your first HTML lesson with Dr. RT (Panzer Time!). Since students are not allowed to address professors by their first names, you will refer to me from here on out as Dr. Panzer Time! or as Panzer-Time!-Sensei (or as Panzer-Time!-Sempai, if you are so inclined).

Since nobody anywhere knows how to manually embed an image, and since I'll be embedding images in this lesson, I'll start with embedding an image. It works like this:

In that picture, you see a snippet of HTML. On the end you have the little corner things. That's what tells the browser (Firefox or Safari or Internet Explorer) what parts of a page are code and what parts are plain text. In HTML, everything is done with "tags" that have the little angley corners on them. In most cases, you put the tag with the instruction you want, like "b" for "bold," followed by some text that gets made bold, followed by another tag that has "/b."

The "img" tag, which we just saw, works a little differently. There's only one tag for one image. It closes itself - that's what the slash is for. It has the word "src" followed by an equals sign. That tells the image tag where to look for the actual image. The URL, in quotes, does that. The URL I used for that image was

Next we have the "a" tag. The "a" tag is a lot like the "img" tag in that it has an equals sign and a URL. However, the "a" tag usually wraps itself around text and has a separate closing tag. Check it out:

This time, instead of "src," "href" is used. "href" stands for something like Hyper-Reference or something like that. It's only ever used with the "a" tag, but it does the same thing as "src" does in the image tag. Notice that there's a few words in the middle of the two "a" tags. These are what's used for the link - linking is what "a" tags do.

There's more things that can be taught, but that's probably all for now.

Just for fun:

<img src="" />

goes to:

Friday, February 6, 2009

Titre is a French word

Today at skool I said that the only reason I even show up anymore is so I can have some place to keep my hat during the day. It sure feels that way. I sleep through most of my classes. I don't bring my backpack home at the end of the day, and the only thing I take in the morning is my hat, my iPod, and the previous day's Wall Street Journal (it comes in the middle of the day when I can't read it). I don't try hard at anything much anymore, mostly because I don't need to. I try hard to be fun and I try hard to draw a picture every once in a while and I try hard to be a good Président. But that's pretty much it.

I like work, you know? That reminds me, I need to upgrade one of my old computers.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Jamaican crack dealers

Yesterday was like the best Sunday I ever had. It all started about 0700 hrs. See, church starts at 0900 hrs, but I have to be there about 0830 hrs. So I woke up, looked out the window, said "screw it" and went back to sleep. Mom came in and asked if I was going to church. Normally it wouldn't be an option, but I was pretty sick and really didn't need to go to do anything special (I'm not actually all that necessary at church, other than blessing the Sacrament, given my ability to constantly elude Sister Ginn and her choral machinations).

I said "no, not if you aren't going to make me." Keep in mind I was sick; I actually like church. She said that I wasn't allowed to use any computers while she was gone, but said I could read if I wanted. She told me to eat some "breakfast steak."

After they left, I took my tray downstairs and fried a breakfast steak, whatever the heck that really is. Doesn't matter anyway, cos I didn't eat but a little bit of it. I loaded up the tray with that, some grapes, a slice of bread, a glass of water, and the newspaper.

Now, the tray has the little handles and the legs that fold out so I can lay underneath it and eat. It's neat. The reason I got it was actually to use my computer in bed more easily, but it's designed for eatin' and it's good at what it's designed for. And I used it for what it was designed for. I spent like two hours just laying in bed reading the paper and eating with the windows open, which was nice. After that, I read Rise and Fall of the Third Reich for a couple of hours.

I worked on the computer later in the day, writing some neat stuff and doing little junk. Then I worked on another computer later.

I reckon it was the feeling of accomplishment I had yesterday that made it so great. I was able to read a lot of stuff and watch clouds go by all day. It was so nice, and I wasn't breaking any sabbath-day observance because my heart was turned to the Lord all day! Nice.

I'll probably write another post tonight or early tomorrow. I'm just in that kind of mood.