Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Story time (only the coffee remains)

OK, like, I dunno. This is a good story, I guess. I've been considering whether or not I should tell it for a while now.

ONCE UPON A TIME there was a girl named Abigail. She had long, dark hair. She liked to tie it up with a long ribbon that was red, white and blue. There was a boy named RT. He was mischievous. He really liked pranks. He went to skool with Abigail every day. I guess we can say that he was sorta friends with her.

One night, RT went to a church thing that was supposed to be fun but wasn't really. It was supposed to be a mock Olympic Games. The kids who went to the church thing were split into teams and made to run various insipid relays. You know, like carry water around in your hands and fill up a bucket.

RT was amazing, even though his arms hurt like heck cos he had gotten a number of injections earlier that day. Or week. I can't remember which. Néanmoins, RT led his team to victory in some dumb game. Since the activity was supposed to be a mock Olympic Games, the awards were mock Olympic Medals. They were made of a red, white, and blue ribbon with chocolates wrapped in shiny foil attached to them. RT ate his nasty truffle (it was actually pretty nasty) and went home. He dropped the ribbon on the floor and went about his business. He got undressed and brushed his teeth and turned on some Queensrÿche. He sat down at his awesome computer and began to interface with the World Wide Web.

He surfed all the usual sites, like Blogger, Wikipedia, TechRepublic, hack_a_day, and deviantArt. After a few hours of knowledge memorization, he began to tire somewhat.

Being mischievous, and loving pranks very much, he looked at the ribbon on the floor next to his guitar and began to formulate a plan. He thought of Abigail, who was his first "friend" on deviantArt. He thought of her dark hair and the ribbons that she loved to wear in them.

He knew what he would do.

He grabbed his very expensive camera and got to work. He laid the ribbon on the floor and took a picture of it next to the toe of his boot (he was kneeling). He uploaded the picture to deviantArt as a scrap and called it "HOSTAGE."

He sent Abigail a "note:"

"I got one of your hair ribbons and I'm holding it hostage!

Look at my scraps. "

Later, he came back to see if she had left some comments or whatever. In the meantime, he took some other ransom-like pictures with the ribbon and uploaded them. But they're not so important, and they only make this dialogue confusing, so...



what do you want? ill give you (almost) anything!!!!

and where did you find it? ive been looking for it! lol"


"It's not like I'm burglarizing your house and stealing things from your room with the pastel-painted walls or anything. (I vaguely remember green.)

Honestly, I never thought this far ahead. I forgot to come up with a ransom. I'll try to figure something out soon."


" RT. just wow.

hahahhahha im not too sure i know exactly what to say to that. hahahah

okay. please let me know what i have to do to get that cheer ribbon back. lol . lots of memories there. tehe"



btw was I right about the green paint?"


"indeed yu were"


"Awesome! And I'm still working on what I could possibly want that only you could give me. I'm totally open to suggestions."


"lol. ill give you Melora." (remember that was HER idea)


"That would make me very happy, but how would she feel?"


"im not really sure..."


"Yeah, I've got a feeling it wouldn't be a super-good idea."

And that's pretty much where they both forgot about it for a while. But RT still thinks about it sometimes. And Abigail may or may not, but it appears that she never realized that RT didn't actually steal her ribbon.

I dunno. Like I said, it's sort of an interesting story. And seriously, is she ever going to figure out that I don't actually have her ribbon? Considering the way she's talked to me elsewhere, it seems like it's pretty important to her. Sentimental value and all that. I don't really know what to do about it. Tell her? If so, how? And how long should I let this go on? What if somebody really did steal her ribbon at the same time that I claimed to? Cos I really like my ribbon and I'd sort of hate to have to give it to her cos I feel sorry for her or something.

(btw, the title of this post is from a Trout Fishing in America song.)


no name said...

I remember this story. I shared it with Garrett. It made him laugh!

RT (Panzer Time!) said...

This is actually a real moral dilemma for me.

melee said...

You're kidding.

(not to the moral dilemma part, to the story part.)

RT (Panzer Time!) said...

No. It's all 100 percent true.

No Name said...

Ha, I sense Abigail is gonna get a talking to tomorrow...

(back to source notebook)

Anonymous said...

Wow, guys. Just wow :)

P.S. Abigail can't give you Melora. Melora's mine. I claimed her years ago!

RT (Panzer Time!) said...

I was figuring something like that anyway.

melee said...


Oh. Yes. Abigail is sitting on a bed of hot coals in my mind right now. Along with several other...naw. Just kidding. Only two other people. (approximately:)

RT (Panzer Time!) said...

I mean, I don't see why we need to be mad at people.

RT (Panzer Time!) said...

I hope you don't think it's my fault, but she probably isn't that much to blame either. She drew a quite logical conclusion, rude as it may be.

Okie said...

lol...nice story. I always felt the best fiction comes from truth. Something like this will totally have to be worked into a story of mine someday (as long as you don't mind the thievery *grin*)

RT (Panzer Time!) said...

I don't care. I'd like royalties and all, but it really doesn't matter that much.

melee said...

Could you include that the person being USED FOR RANSOM with was pretty mad?

(*note: this is an angry comment, I will cool down in the future.*)

RT (Panzer Time!) said...

Yeah, it would be a good idea if you did that too.

And note, Melee, that I actually rejected her offer. Took a lot of self-control, but hey.