Tuesday, June 17, 2008

It's been coming.

Before we start today, I'll say that this is something that's been building up for a long long time. I originally gave this tirade during the leadup to my English final, while the proctor was looking for a place to stack finished exams.

Why do you need to make room on your desk? Why not just move all that stuff to the floor?

The floor is an underutilized architectural element in Western society. What do we need all of this junk for? Are you kidding me? Furniture? What are chairs for? What do we need these desks to be three and a half feet in the air for? I don't need my paper to be waist-high to write it. Make it nine inches high or a foot high and sit me indian-style in front of it. Or I can kneel. That's ok too.

Why do we have these beds way up in the air? Just lay on a flat mattress or something. Couch? Nah, cushions. Set 'em on the floor and put your tush on 'em. If you want to lean, get yourself a big round cushion.

Television? Computer? Floor. Set the keyboard up on your table. You only need one table. Perfectly square, made of wood, parquet is ok, stone inlay is ok. One foot tall. About four or five feet long on each side. If you want, you can put shallow drawers or pockets on the side. Great.

I've been sleeping and sitting on floors my whole life, and it hasn't hurt me none. Try it. You might like it.

Coming next week, my diatribe against silverware! And any foods other than raw fish!


Anonymous said...

You would really like my culture then. We sleep on thin mattresses on the floor mostly. Eat around a table cloth placed on the floor. Sit on the mattresses we sleep on as couches. Until recently, that's how it all was. My grandmother's house was like this for the longest time, until she died about seven years ago. Then her two unmarried daughters who live in her house still "modernized" the house and added a kitchen table and couches and stuff seen in most houses today. Just a thought. It's actually pretty cool, to be honest. I agree with you. I actually do my homework and read on the floor. I don't even have a cushion or mattress or anything. I just sit on the floor. It's actually quite nice.

RT (Panzer Time!) said...

Yeah,in the livingroom and recroom we have these big old cushions that everyone thinks are pillows. Well they're actually suppose to be SAT UPON, but it seems only I know that.

Shoot, I just went deaf in my right ear.

Blub said...

It's our culture.

People think they need the best possible and that the floor's tainted and dirty, so they stay away from the floor.

I honestly have no preference when it comes to floors or chairs. It's one of those things that just isn't very important to me...

Also, in order to put everything on the floor, I'd have to renovate everything upstairs. I'm too lazy to do that. I'd also be a bit afraid that I'd kick my HDTV over... which is a good reason why we probably have it elevated a bit. So we don't walk on or kick stuff.

I like being high (not in that sense) though. Looking out over stuff is nice.

Anonymous said...

If you ever have white, hairy, mucho shedding, sled dogs, you might see the necessity of sometimes being off the floor. Black does not exist in my house.

Anonymous said...

Floors can damage your spine if you sleep on them. Beds provide warmth and are more satisfying than wood or carpet.

RT (Panzer Time!) said...

I mean, I like my bed, but I'm just so used to sleeping in other people's beds and on the floor by now. I mean, I sleep on the floor in the rec room almost every night. That's where the TV is.