Monday, May 26, 2008

It's a cart, not a buggy.

Shopping is so much more fun with men than with women. No offense, but I really prefer to do it with representatives of my own gender.

Situation: Bass Pro Shop. Little bro playing hunting video game. Big bro looking at MASSIVE BUCKS XV and WHITETAILS GONE WILD IX DVDs. (Don't ask me why people actually watch those.)

Mom: Hey! Stop touching stuff! Only look at something if you're going to buy it! Come on, we need to try on socks.

Dad: Hey, the XBox still works, right? OK, put it in the cart. You can be Trophy Hunters when we get home. Let's go look at anchors.

Situation: Kroger, creamed corn aisle. Little bro sitting on the cart, big bro juggling boxes of noodles.

Mom: OK, run back and get me six boxes of unbleached wheat germ and a can of tofu.

Dad: Goes to find the Twinkies while the brothers stage a coffee bean fight. Mmm, hazelnut.

Situation: Gas station. Little bro trying to figure out what condoms are, big bro playing with lighters.

Mom: HEY! We're leaving!

Dad: Tells Trojan Man joke and buys a lighter.

Really. Shopping is so much more fun with a guy who understands you. A guy who doesn't make you try on the underwear before you buy them. A guy who joins in on the ridicule of your little brother. A guy who wants you to eat nothing but pizza, hotdogs, A1 steak sauce, and ice cream for a week.


Jellyfish said...

I think it depends on the lady in question. Comparing a motherly figure to a younger lady is like apples and apple sauce.

There are plenty of girls that I know I’d have fun shopping with.

RT (Panzer Time!) said...

Well, I wanted to tell the awesome story of shopping with mon pere today, but I couldn't think of a way to do it that wouldn't be boring. So I decided to use this creative format.

Not anything against women. I just don't like shopping avec ma mere.

ashleybee said...

Good stories.

Anonymous said...

You know, we feel the same way about men shopping with us.
My dad is ok, but it seems you guys always need to fool around and then fed. Which normally I don't object to. But straight shopping with a guy becomes tiring.

Blub said...

This made me LOL.