Right side of my mind

So this last weekend I bought a PlayStation and the Greatest Hits edition of Metal Gear Solid on eBay. I figure I got a pretty good deal, especially for the game. I got the same price for both items, $11.50. The game was in more-than-mint condition, though. There weren't even any fingerprints on the inside of the case. I don't think it had ever been opened. Not in 11 years. It was as if I had just got back from picking it up at RadioShack (they did sell PlayStation games in the late 90's, right?).

I kinda wish I had a girlfriend. It's hard to imagine why I don't when I'm so good at saving money and other 1337 skillz. However, it's also important to consider that I'm kinda terrible at commitment. Also, I don't think I'd want to spend as much money as having a girlfriend seems to take. Or the, um, not sure what to call it, but the following vignette might illustrate: One time, one of my friends who is a girl mentioned to me that she was cramping cos it was "her time of the month." Do you think I'd want to know that every month? No! Of course not! But that would be the kind of thing I'd have to hear, or so it would seem. Argh! Choices!

Well, it's off to bed cos of this sham called "DST." I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Or maybe not. Nobody reads this anymore.

Oh, and "in the air of freedom the flame grows bright." Just a line from a song.

I shot a man in Reno.

So, last night, I went on a date. I got some tickets to see the Chinese acrobats perform at the performing arts center my parents are "patrons" of. And they were good tickets, too - front and center. We had an awesome view of all the stunts, and one of the clowns offered my date a glass of raw eggs as a joke. Easily, the most terrifying stunt they did was balance a chair on top of four champagne bottles on a table. A girl climbed up, and they started handing her chairs and she used them to build a tower! Finally, after seven chairs, she was at the top and could almost touch the ceiling. She started doing handstands and stuff on top of the chairs. It was certainly death-defying. At the end of the show, one of the acrobats came and shook my hand and gave my date a flower. After that we got in my truck and headed home.

It was way cool.

Single flavor

Do crisp and smooth go together? The reason I ask is that those are two words I'd use to describe my new keyboard. It's a nice keyboard, if I'm qualified to say so, and I daresay I am qualified.

Back in spring, my laptop's keyboard started going on the fritz. Occasionally certain keys (notably E) wouldn't work. I would lock my computer and wait an hour or so until it started working again. Eventually, the entire top row just quit on me. I decided that it would make sense to remove some keys and get all the crumbs and paint and hair out. Which was good, until the little plastic levers under the keys started breaking. Unfortunately, superglue was somehow incapable of forming a bond between the broken pieces, which were practically microscopic anyhow. So I was stuck with a keyboard with no E, Caps Lock, or Backspace keys and a nonfunctional top row. After some thought, I removed the keyboard and cleaned the cable contacts with an eraser. After reassembly, the top row worked again, given I touched the conductive spot under where E should be. I was able to work like that for a while, and the Tab and D keys joined the others in an old Chinese takeout bowl. Eventually, though, 3, E, D, and C quit working altogether. I needed workarounds.

For slow applications, I was able to use the On-Screen Keyboard dealio that's built in to the Language Tools or whatever on Windows. But for something faster, I needed a full keyboard with no slow mouse movements. I set up a Remote Desktop connection across my LAN and used another PC across the house for all of my writing. But it was a shared PC, so I couldn't use it at will. I managed to find an old iBook, but it couldn't directly remote desktop to my laptop for some reason (I guess cos it was running 10.3.9). A VPN out to the Internet, back to my house, and across the LAN was the way to go. Superefficient. Running Remote Desktop over the new VPN worked like a charm, but I didn't want to do that forever, so I asked for my dad to buy me a new keyboard. Ok, so I did wimp out. Live with it.

It came in the mail yesterday, and I installed it as soon as I got it. And if I had to describe it in one word, I think I'd go with "tasty."

Well congratulations!

I read this on the Inet just a second ago, and it made me giggle.

The problem with buying a package of cookies is that I'm torn between gobbling them up immediately, and savoring them. If I gobble them up, not only will I be hit with an immense wave of guilt, but they'll also be gone too quickly. If I wait, they run the risk of being stale. This upsets me the most when it's Milano cookies or Oreos, two brand names that almost everybody on the planet likes. Both my Milano cookies and my Oreos are now stale. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't find the tears.

Welcome to Shelf Life.

It was probably cos I thought a guy wrote that column until now.

Also, I'm exempt from Gummint. Somehow.

Promises

This is an excerpt from my diary. For some reason, I was super proud of it.

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Tuesday, February 17, 2009 2247 hrs

One year ago today, I sat in Terminal C of Ronald Reagan National Airport reading The Appeal by John Grisham and eating churros (from Cinnabon, I believe). That was a long Sunday. I spent something like six or seven hours alone in that airport. It holds a lot of meaning for me.

When I think of it, powerful emotions awake that I almost never feel. I don't understand them properly at all. I'm not sure where I'd even begin trying. It was a time when I was independent and free. I value independence and freedom, but I've experienced those things at other times, too. [redacted to protect the innocent; they might know whom they are] The architecture of parts of that airport is stunning, having a strange, ethereal quality that almost seems to convey me across time and space. There's also the mental link I hold between that place and Portable Ops, but it's an oddly transcendental one that shouldn't affect me quite like this.

It's one of the most important places in the world, and it's our first anniversary. Many happy returns, hein?

Toshokan Sensou

I was glancing around my blog for the first time in a while. I just spend so much more time on the back-end of things. While I was perusing, I happened to see the little tagline that says "What's with all the kissing in the rain, guys?" That goes wayyy back in time to a German chick that I sort of knew. I found a list of "ways to turn your girlfriend on" or something like that on her Facebook page... profile... thing. HerSpace. I reposted it on my blog with a running commentary of why or why not the things listed seemed like good ideas. One of those was "Kissher in the RAIN!!!" (yeah, bad typography, similar to the original). I said something along the lines of "Dude, do what ya want, but kissin' in the dry sounds better to me." That started a huge paranoiac argument and I slapped the rain-kissin' tag on the headliner.

So I started to imagine what kissin' in the rain would be like. Kind of hard cos I've never kissed anybody, but I can try. I can feel like the water on my lover's lips as they brush mine. Same as a regular kiss but wet. Big deal. But I guess it must be romantic or something to go to all the trouble of risking pneumonia just to show a bit of affection.

I saw an albino roach the other day... and my mom bought a copy of The Host (which, I am guessing, is about a necrotic maitre d' who falls madly in love with an unassuming girl-next-door named MJ and almost gets his a... butt kicked by Spider-Man. Still waiting for the second installment to see the thrilling conclusion) and almost put it in the bag with my Navy SEAL picture book but luckily put it in the bag with my brother's WWI history book.

There's an entry in my diary that I'm especially proud of. Not sure why. Just am. I'm considering editing it for content and publishing it here.

Chloroplathts

I'm going to Michigan this summer. I don't think I've ever actually been to Michigan before, except for a quick stop in the Detroit airport. I think I'll list the states I've been to:

Utah
California
Tennessee
Illinois
Kansas
Iowa
the District of Columbia
Alabama
Texas
Nebraska
Georgia
Wyoming
Nevada
Arizona
New Mexico
Oklahoma
Mississippi
Florida
New York
Minnesota (MSP airport)
Louisiana
Kentucky
Maryland
Virginia
Missouri

That's all I can think of, anyhow.

Oh, and I'm going moose hunting in October. I hope that'll be more productive than all the elk hunting I've done already.

Edit: I just found out that my English grade is a 98 and I'm kind of mad about it.